BPDFamily.com

Ugh, tis the season, right?

I just had an uncle pass away on Monday. I am sure it has triggered my mom's recent status post on FB which is: "Be nice, people - life is so short and nothing is more important than family." HA, she doesn't even take her own advice! I am so angry and hate that I am even feeling guilt. I can't stand her and her holier-than-thou attitude. I am just so mad. Honestly, I don't even agree with her comment, really. I have friends that I consider more important than some family and I also place higher value on being HAPPY and healthy over the importance of family. Not that I invite any conversations with my mom anymore, but she certainly does not try to contact me or tell me she loves me or anything. She is likely BPD and I know this is just part of the disease but it doesn't make me less upset. I wish I could just let her comments roll off. She can be so toxic.

Thanks for listening.

-WM

Facebook has been a struggle for me also.  After having a difficult conversation with my Father, usually that day or the next day there will be something on his facebook stating something like "I'm not going to let the negative effect my life anymore" when in reality he was the one cussing and chewing me out for some absurd thing I didn't even do.  I have hidden his news feed so I have to look at his page to see his posts.  I like having the choice to look so I am not caught off guard. 

There's a reason why some of my friends refer to it as "Fakebook." :) Remember that people only put things that they want others to see on there.

What would help you to not let the comments bother you? Would it be better for you to not see those comments, or is there something you can tell yourself to soothe you when you see them?

Wise mind my friend – rational mind and emotional mind are at odds – accept Mom has no idea! Let go of the need to change her, her ideas, theories and find a way to not take them on.

She is who she is. Comparing her to others is tempting however fruitless.

Can you pinpoint why you feel upset? What bothers you and what core value does it violate?

I understand completely. This just happened to us the other day. My wife's uBPDm came over to the house and complained for about 10 minutes about how people in the family treat others like they are nothing. After leaving, she posted on FB about how no one is better than anyone and it is the season to show family love. On top of that post, she calls our house to make sure we saw the post. She is one of the main issues in our life right now.