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Title: Maybe I just had a moment of clarity Post by: Jbt857 on November 27, 2013, 08:10:03 PM I was thinking about a post I'd just written, about how I would, even now, take my BPDexh back if he were truly remorseful.
Then I thought about it some more. I don't think I could ever be intimate with him, given that he broke our marriage vows and replaced me. I don't see how I could ever get past and forgive that. I think a little lightbulb came on. That there's a difference between the fantasy 'happily ever after' and the reality. One that, for me, is probably irreconcilable. I don't see how I could ever trust him again. Title: Re: Maybe I just had a moment of clarity Post by: redkong on November 27, 2013, 09:01:18 PM Jbt - one of my most supportive friends helped me get great clarity when she helped me see the difference between the "mirage" (what I wanted, hoped for, thought "could be" with me ex, and the reality. Like a mirage in the desert, what we wish was real with our pwBPD just isn't. No matter how we chase it, the mirage will never be real.
There is a huge difference between fantasy/mirage and reality. Chase your reality. Title: Re: Maybe I just had a moment of clarity Post by: Surnia on November 28, 2013, 02:14:24 AM |iiii
For both of you. Shifting from fantasy, hope and fairy tales to radical acceptance. |