Title: Sweet memories Post by: smartwoman220 on November 28, 2013, 09:39:43 AM Its Thanksgiving here in the States. And I have so much to be grateful for. My Life looks nothing like it did a year ago. I am out of the DV program and into my own townhouse. New furniture, brand new job, and the ability to look at myself in a whole new light... I am smart, I am funny, I love me ( that's what really matters) and my son... . he is everything
It was funny, last night I curled up on my couch and watched my favorite show. I was alone, which I had been avoiding since the last incident (I've been keeping company with a guy I 'm not really into, which I know needs to stop, but that a whole nother story) because I been sinking into my feelings. *** This is also the first holiday I have been alone in 8 years. I'm single, and my son is with his dad for Thanksgiving.*** And those memories, did creep up. I thought about how much fun we had cooking last year, and how him and my son fell asleep in my bed watching Mary Poppins, and how good it felt to be up under him, and so in love. And I was thankful for those memories. They are a part of my life that I would not change, because those feelings were real. I was happy... . And I'm happy now :) The memory came and went, and I was peaceful, not sad or angry. And it past like the other thoughts I've had. And it was on to the next. I am posting that because, I actually had to pause to take a check of myself afterward. I was so proud of myself because there were no tears. No awful nagging feeling on the pit of my stomach and no awful longing for him. I know now that I can be free. I'll have more memories added to my memory bank,, and time spent with others who will be able to love me. Just wanted to share how I feel, cause I'm floating right now. Happy Holidays... .I'm off to house hop lol Title: Re: Sweet memories Post by: Discovery on November 28, 2013, 10:43:48 AM mmm... .thanks for sharing... .helps me imagine that feeling like that IS possible in the future :) What helped you get there?
D Title: Re: Sweet memories Post by: smartwoman220 on November 29, 2013, 12:08:49 PM I'm not really sure... . I just had a really bad spell after speaking with him and finding out about my replacement. I had had a few really bad days in the last two weeks, and a major crying spell. I went in to deep mourning and all of a sudden,the fog lifted.
I realized that it has been almost a year, and we both should be ok. Me sitting on my hands and wasting the precious gift of the present is silly. I went out and spoiled myself like I used to, and decide I would be happy this holiday season. It just clicked. And I forgave him. Life just happens to us and sometimes its just not our time. I tried to force something with him that just didn't fit. If its meant for us to be... .then we will, when and if its ever right :) I let him go... .so I could be free to find what I need for me *) Title: Re: Sweet memories Post by: Learning_curve74 on November 29, 2013, 01:36:02 PM Your screen name is so apt, smartwoman indeed! |iiii
|