BPDFamily.com

Hi People.

I have not been on the board now for a long time. A lot has happened and in a way few things have happened.

Mother died, for a few of you that might recall, 4 years ago. In finalizing her death, all but one sibling stopped talking to me and that has stayed the same. Since I know they are so damaged that's alright. I can't say my life highly benefitted from their rejection but it is better in the long run. Their actions made me see I was sick in yet another way. I allowed too much abuse at their hands too.

FF. Last Jan, after being ill for what seemed like mos (but chalking off symptoms to stress, etc). I was diagnosed with recurring cancer. I have been in chemo since jan after surgery. No end in sight but all told, I am doing alright.

We found out last month that our 'puppy' has cancer. She is elderly with cataracts, bladder stones and now cancer. I am gauging, the best I can, where her pain level is and am keeping her in pain control with the vet's help. I know we will have to put her down soon.

This may all seem like a plea for pity, but please believe me it's not. I am just residue of a mother and a whacked out family, with more peace than maybe ever, in my last days or years.

Total isolation is surely not the answer for many of you here, but my life has passed me by so quickly as I look back. Much of my life in memory is just 'blurs' of being antagonized, etc (you all know the drill) one experiences with a BPD mother and often times, siblings.

I hope you are all finding better ways through your journey here. There were times this board was my ONLY friend in the world when I so desperately needed understanding. How sad that it took a board, over psych's, to give me 'ah hah' moments as members here did. Even finding knowledge of borderline personality came from a gal who's mother gave her an identical experience mine gave me. She was on the board. I was hooked.

My best to all of you. You are strong people!  You have been dealt some serious  blow(s).

Dear methinkso,

  I wanted to let you know that you offered me many reassuring words that I have taken to heart, when I first appeared on these boards. I carried them with me in my absence over the last few years.  You have made a difference to me.  I understand all to well where you are.  My absence was due to one of my children getting cancer.  The short story is he is a survivor now.  I know how challenging the cancer road is.  Stay positive, enjoy life and celebrate all triumphs, even the tiny ones. 

My thoughts are with you

Larmieq