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Title: Have I reached my limit? Post by: RedRose15 on November 29, 2013, 06:59:24 AM My BPD bf has been acting horrible to me for the last few weeks.
Short story, we moved in together 5 weeks ago. I feel like it has all gone downhill from there. Prior to that, we have had our roller coaster moments, the typical BDH behaviours. So, I asked him to move in to help me out financially. I didn't really have much choice Since the movein... .He comes and goes and never tells me where he is, or what time he might be home. He has not come home for up top 5 days in a row. Then he tries to act like everything is normal. I'm just over this. I feel like he is treating me so bad. But I don't know how to deal with him. Because as soon as I bring this up, he gets so angry... .he will either storm off and leave for a few days, or he will stay and call me all sorts of names, making out I have a problem. I Just feel so worn out by this. Title: Re: Have I reached my limit? Post by: waverider on November 29, 2013, 07:15:39 AM Has he lived with anyone before?
It sounds like he is not used to working around others, and cohabiting in itself is setting off too many control issue triggers Title: Re: Have I reached my limit? Post by: RedRose15 on November 29, 2013, 07:26:30 AM waverider, he lived with a woman a few years ago now, for about seven years. It ended very badly. He blamed her.
I'm just so hurt and lost at his moment. I don't know what to do. Title: Re: Have I reached my limit? Post by: waverider on November 29, 2013, 03:14:53 PM You will need to establish some boundaries before this behavior becomes entrenched and regarded as the norm.
Boundaries (https://bpdfamily.com/content/values-and-boundaries) Boundaries are not about right or wrong, or whats fair. It is about preventing you felling "lost and hurt". Is the financial help in having him live with you worth the emotional pain that it brings, given it could escalate, along with resentment? |