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 I posted on the leaving  board  yesterday about  something  that  clicked on in  my  brain.   You  guys may have read about the time I've  had recently.

I went into  a deep dark place in my  heart  recently,  and It  was harder that  my initial break up  with him.


But Thanksgiving Eve, I snapped.

Snapped right  back into  reality  :)


My thoughts really  just settled with  this:



  Its  been a while since our breakup. Life  is different now, and  its ok for us  both  move on.  I am on  to  new  life  lesson, and  my  journey  will be  filled  with  new experiences, and  people who can  make me  smile and be a friend. His journey took him miles and  miles away, space  was but there for a reason beyond my  control.  Wasting  time away, choosing  to  pine over  someone who, even if they  were in my  life at this time, couldn't  give  me what  I needed,  is  just wasting the gift  of the present.  Its ok for me  to  love  him,  but its time for me to release him with my love  and  blessings. Love is  not possessive,  and if it is  meant  to  be, it  will be. And IF that  ever  does happen, it  will be  right 


You  see my  friends, I  had  to look at  this thing  outside of the mental  illness, and  relate it t o my  rational mind.  Even  folks  who are completely sane can  be emotionally  unavailable at sometime  in their life.  I away  knew that, and  that  is all this  is.  So I'll  treat him as  such, and  it  doesn't hurt  so much  when you  don't  take it  so personal.

We had  some  great times... .we  didn't work out... .we love  each other ( for  what  ever reasons, there is no  debate) and  now we  have to  go  back out in the  world to  find the missing  part ( what  ever that  might  be) for each of us.

It  doesn't make him a bad guy because he isn't  ready, it makes him  human.  And i can't expect him to  handle  me the way I would  have  handled him. We are two different  people.

So i ain't even  mad  lol


I'll let  him go free, and  I swear, I feel like  my load is lifted.


Be encouraged |iiii

What a nice update smartwoman. Congratulations on reaching acceptance. It is a freeing experience. :)

haha you really got me good, very funny!


that's really lovely.  i wish i could stay in that frame of mind more.  i much prefer it when i'm 'in'.  how do you do it?   thanx for sharing.  how are you doing now, 3 wks later?

icu2