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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: AliveButBeatup on November 30, 2013, 10:56:13 AM



Title: Blocking The Person --- E-mail in Particular
Post by: AliveButBeatup on November 30, 2013, 10:56:13 AM
While going through my split with my wife, I was figuring out how to block her from contacting me.  As far as phone calls and texting go, it is straight forward. It seems all of the cell phone companies have a way where you can block calls from specific phone numbers. The new OS for the iPhones allows you to block someone too. Their voice messages still come through, but are invisible as you don't see the call come through or be prompted on the screen.

Now for those pesky e-mails one can receive from the BPD person in your life.  In my case, I wanted a message to be automatically sent to only my wife.  It took a bit of research, but I came up with a way for her to get a response when she e-mailed me.

I use gmail, but other web based e-mail products share similar features.  The feature I used is the "filter" option. One of the options is to automatically delete messages from a particular sender. I did not want to delete the e-mails for legal reasons.  One of the filter options is to forward e-mails to another e-mail address if received from a particular sender.

What I did is set-up another e-mail account for this specific purpose.  In my case I created an e-mail that is "goodbye?@gmail.com". Insert the name where the ? are located.

E-mails arriving at my primary e-mail address from the designated sender are automatically forwarded to the goodbye account through the use of the filter.

At the forwarded e-mail account of "goodbye?@gmail.com", I setup the Vacation Responder option where you can have a message sent out automatically for a particular length of time.  I have included the message I put in there below.

This has worked effectively for me. It provides a reaffirmation of a consistent message.  In my case she got upset about the message, but it seemed to eventually sink in after she received it a couple of dozen times.  My life has become much more peaceful.

My message --- use as you wish.

I am moving forward with the divorce.  I no longer want to be involved with you in any way, shape or form. Please go on with your life. Enjoy your life. Feel free to date others. Feel free to do anything you wish except think we will reconcile and be together at some point in the future. I value myself too much to continue to tolerate your manipulative and abusive ways. Your behavior is not acceptable to me or to general society. God does not want me to be abused.  Perhaps you will get the help you need at some point. Perhaps not.  It is irrelevant to me at this point.  Everyone deserves to be in a safe place including me. Being with you is not a safe place. You have proven that multiple times and you continue to prove it.

ABB



Title: Re: Blocking The Person --- E-mail in Particular
Post by: lipstick on November 30, 2013, 11:02:58 AM
Wow... .just... .wow. This is truly, truly awesome. LOVE the autoreply message. Brilliant!

Scoreboard... .you!   Well done. My exBPDbf would never have the nerve to reach out to me in any way - so I won't have to do something like this... .but if I did... .what a blueprint for No Contact !

Thx for sharing.


Title: Re: Blocking The Person --- E-mail in Particular
Post by: TakingWingAtLast on November 30, 2013, 01:51:04 PM
I'll keep that note AliveButBeatUp even though I can't really use it.   I'll think it instead!

D