BPDFamily.com

Hey guys, I have been approached twice by my BPD ex after we split up a few months ago, she's been wanting back with me. Every time that she did this and 'got close' she would go silent and disappear coming back at some point later claiming she was confused or her head was messed up.

Anyone find this when they were attempting a recycle?

I have 90% moved on now and told her this but she still tries her luck. Bless lol

Mine did this last year, wanted to get back together, wed go for a meal and talk... .then silence for a month!

Then more contact,silence!

I think she was just going through her options and I was the best she could get for the time being,seriously, what other reason could it be? the other guys must have bailed on her!

wish I had more sense!

Closeness triggers & terrifies them. It feels engulfing & controlling. It can take a while for those feelings to settle down (& then they recur). It's probably not rejection, & SF, she's probably being truthful about her feelings.

Think of befriending a feral cat. The mistrust is comparable.

This is what drove me crazy about my uBPDexgf. She really didn't want to let me go, but she would not give me the love I deserve. Towards the end of our relationship, she told me that I am afraid to give her space because I am afraid of losing her - that's projection because I gave her all the space in the world and she still felt suffocated, when in reality, she was the one who was clinging to me! Howeevr, I wasn't the one doing the suffocating, she was doing it to herself. The deeper our relationship got, the more afraid she became. Her new b/f looks to be a superficial clown, so I'm sure itll last llonger than us because that's what she can handle, but not really what she wants. But the engulfing/controlling that she accused me of was so outrageous on so many levels. 1. We were in a LDR at that moment in time and we saw each other 2-3 times a month. 2. If I went out she would text me constantly to make sure she still had my attention even if I was out with my friends (she even faked an accident one time and I ran home to stay on the phone with her after a night of drinking). Even when she went out with her friends I'd tell her "have fun" and go about my business, but she would constantly text me. Yet, I was the one who was clingy? It's madness!

I totally believe her when she says her heads messed up.

When I begin to move on she's all over me.

I've been getting the silent treatment for about a month now. Don't let it bother you. It's just the way these people are. Not having to listen to her isn't really punishment anyway if you don't care.

I wanted to recycle for awhile, but now I'm completely certain that it's a bad idea. Don't put yourself through all this... .over and over and over again.

Once they have split you black they are never the same. It's more like you are a part of their rolodex.  You cannot trust them. They move around pretty quickly and just hurt you more and more each time.

Trust me.  Been there 6 (yes 6) times in 18mo.

And mine said during a rage that she has "frontal lobe issues"

That is someone deeply disturbed. When they actually state it... .

well that is something we should take for word!