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Title: Sharing some small victories Post by: A Step-Mom on December 03, 2013, 09:51:20 AM I just want to share some of what happened in court a few weeks back. And I would like to give hope to others that there is some justice, and sometimes the justice system DOES see through a BPD ex's made up lies.
Fiance's dBPDxw filed contempt a few months ago. Among a laundry list of claims: fiance doesn't let SS talk on the phone, fiance alienates SS from her, fiance never told her what daycare & doctors SS goes to, fiance never included her on making the decisions on daycares and doctors, and never told her when we moved back in May. Basically that we were failing to co-parent. The advice often noted here @ bpdfamily to document everything certainly paid off. As all of her allegations were false, and we had proof. Fiance provided the emails showing that he did communicate as much as is reasonable, and was willing to hear suggestions or concerns. Even some emails that start with: "I have sent this information in the past, please save this and print this off for your records". Fiance is very good at keeping his communication professional and factual in emails with her, while in typical BPD fashion she flies off the cuff in her responses. The judge was quite short with ex-wife (he clearly was sick of her BS by the end of a 2-3 hour hearing), and if she wanted more say in doctors and schools that she should drive down and check them out herself. She lives hours away in another state! Ha! Anyways - for those of you struggling with custody and ex's that constantly throw false accusations... .document, stay organized, keep your head up, and love your children every single minute you get with them! Title: Re: Sharing some small victories Post by: livednlearned on December 03, 2013, 10:26:59 AM I just want to share some of what happened in court a few weeks back. And I would like to give hope to others that there is some justice, and sometimes the justice system DOES see through a BPD ex's made up lies. Fiance's dBPDxw filed contempt a few months ago. Among a laundry list of claims: fiance doesn't let SS talk on the phone, fiance alienates SS from her, fiance never told her what daycare & doctors SS goes to, fiance never included her on making the decisions on daycares and doctors, and never told her when we moved back in May. Basically that we were failing to co-parent. The advice often noted here @ bpdfamily to document everything certainly paid off. As all of her allegations were false, and we had proof. Fiance provided the emails showing that he did communicate as much as is reasonable, and was willing to hear suggestions or concerns. Even some emails that start with: "I have sent this information in the past, please save this and print this off for your records". Fiance is very good at keeping his communication professional and factual in emails with her, while in typical BPD fashion she flies off the cuff in her responses. The judge was quite short with ex-wife (he clearly was sick of her BS by the end of a 2-3 hour hearing), and if she wanted more say in doctors and schools that she should drive down and check them out herself. She lives hours away in another state! Ha! Anyways - for those of you struggling with custody and ex's that constantly throw false accusations... .document, stay organized, keep your head up, and love your children every single minute you get with them! Thanks for posting about your experience, ASM. It does help to hear that there are judges who "get" it. Mine did too. Still caused a lot of grief and cost a fortune, but at least in the end I was awarded the outcome I was seeking. I wish it was the same for everyone here. I remember telling my lawyer about scanning and sending S12's report cards, and she said, "Why are you doing that?" It never occurred to me that N/BPDx should be doing that himself. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize that they have no power over you, and you aren't their spouse anymore. He raged at me for not sending report cards and accused me of stonewalling and obstructing blah blah blah. And then one day I think he figured it out, that he can get this information by picking up the phone. Title: Re: Sharing some small victories Post by: DreamGirl on December 03, 2013, 01:23:49 PM I love these success stories. |iiii
Title: Re: Sharing some small victories Post by: Nope on December 03, 2013, 01:25:52 PM It's so nice to hear good stories like this. I'm going to make a point of writing about any victories we have. People here always tell me this is a marathon and not a sprint. But I'll happily cheer and hold out a water bottle at anyone else's mile markers. |iiii
Title: Re: Sharing some small victories Post by: DreamGirl on December 03, 2013, 01:30:35 PM But I'll happily cheer and hold out a water bottle at anyone else's mile markers. |iiii We could create an "bpdfamily Aid Station" with water and gatorade. :) It really does help to know what works and doesn't work. Especially when it comes to the accusations that are based on feelings not facts. Title: Re: Sharing some small victories Post by: A Step-Mom on December 04, 2013, 07:31:01 AM But I'll happily cheer and hold out a water bottle at anyone else's mile markers. |iiii I LOVE THIS! Exactly why I came back to this site after quite a few months of being away. What a wonderful group of support :) |