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The divorce was final 11/14. What a relief I guess. Except, the custody battle rages on. When she first painted me black, told me to get lost, I remember having vivid dreams involving her. I remember waking up soaked in sweat, or waking up hours before the alarm was set to go off. The ruminations seemed like they would never end, it was all day long. That lasted around six weeks. Since then, or until 11/14 anyway, both life sleep had been relatively peaceful, and quiet.

The custody battle is gearing up to the seriously nasty point, and she doesn't seem to think I should ever see the kids. The custody order has vague guidelines for visitation, and she is playing it all to her favor. I rarely get to spend time with my kids, and when she sees fit to offer time, I have to jump through all the hoops she puts up, wag my tail, spin in a circle, and beg for a treat. Then she says "well this is too difficult to figure out" at the last minute, and tries to cancel the plans she agreed to. She feels like she's doing me a favor, and that she's inconveniencing herself so the kids and I get time together.

Now, last night, the dreams returned. I had several very vivid dreams with her as main attraction, and none of them left me feeling good. This is so incredibly hard.

Hi Kepp,

*welcome*

I seem to go through stages with the nightmares. Me and my BPDexh split February - he moved out in April. The bad dreams were frequent then, again in August, again a few weeks ago. They do seem do occur less frequently and over less nights as time passes.

I'm afraid I don't have kids so I can't offer any words of wisdom there.

There are lots of  useful threads here about dreams - have a read - it seems to just be our minds way of processing trauma. Many of us experience them. They don't necessarily mean anything. I use a meditation app on my phone to get to sleep when I'm ruminating and it is really helpful for me. It reduces the chance of a bad dream for me at least.

It is hard, but you *are* moving forward. Keep going.  :)

Dreams are our sub conscious way of problem solving in our sleep. The brain doesn't just shut off when we lay down at night. Your situation is stressful, it's not at all surprising you are having vivid dreams. Emotions are running high.

As long as you are still fighting in court, you are still "in it", the road to recovery waits, it has little chance to take a foothold till things settle. How are you coping with all of this stress kepp? How are you taking care of you?

mine has stopped to recently after meeting her for 1st time in 11months... terrifying as i see some stories i heard from her she mentioned during her therapy which now i question are truth or lies.

But I have been through relationships that hurt... i know this is not normal. And I pity the next person. I con tune to believe that I'm coming out wronger than I ever would without having to go true an experience I never knew could have ever existed! Believe!