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me an dthe ex have been split up for almost 5 months. Ive been doing really well, hardley miss her anymore and I find more relief then sadness anymore. I at times question my own sanity for staying in this mess. e have had LC on/off but mainly she will send a test message about every 3 or 4 weeks and I respond in a dry non caring manner and that will be it for about 3 or 4 more weeks. Thsi past hoilday weekend, I get a 400 in the morning text from her that was begging me to call, she made it sound like it was an emergency. So I did and of course it wasnt. She was lonley and wanted to talk to her best friend who undertood her the most, blah blah blah. During the conversation it went over to who I was dating. I was saw out at a dinner with a lady by her best friend. I told her the lady was just a friend of mine, of course she then went into how I never miss a beat I just start dating like it was nothing. I reminded her that he had been 5 months. and she told me how she sits at home and shes not doing anything at all. and how I always go an dfind another women. But to make it short, she hung up on me. Later I get a text where she was thanking me for being there for her in her hour of need and she hoped one day we would just forget all the anger between us. I respond with a dry, glad I could help responce. have heard a thing since.

She is not diagnosed but our T said she had alot of symptoms of BPD. BUt all this just confirms it even more in my mind. Is this not classic BPD?

Mitchell,

Sounds like you are doing well overall.  Probably took the bait with a reengagement tactic though.  From just this description alone it would be tough to judge, but it's obvious that you've posted many times before about your situation with the r/s.  So I suspect that you are probably right about the classic BPD. 

Sounds like you are recovering well!  Good to know that we can all get there eventually!

D

Dpenderg, Im doing really well. I have some bad days but for the most part I have moved past this. Its just becoming a bad memory. I wont lie and say its been easy or I dont have momenst where I miss her and what I beleived we had. But the truth is we had nothing but a fairy tale. I was diagnosing her from her last actions. I have plenty that will do that. I was just amazing that she pulls this from BPD play book which confirms in my mind that I was right all along.

She was lonely, she needed soothing, got what she wanted, when she brought of the past and present and I reminded her that she was the one that caused all these problems. She reminded her of what a terrible person she really is and she had to disengage. BUt she got some soothing from it and that was enough until the next time.

Mitchell,

That pwBPDs continue to try and reengage IS validating to me.  It seems to be such a common occurrence that, like you, I've come to think of this as being diagnostic.  I'm sure it isn't that simple, but reading all the posts and literature here has helped me understand that aspect of the r/s.

D

Hi mitchell, Here is a good book. This is the google books link. Check out pages 7-11. If you were with your X for any amount of time, a lot of this traits and symptoms may make sense. They were an eye opener for me, even more than those listed in WOE and another book I had picked up a few months ago, BPD for Dummies.

<a href=www.books.google.com/books?id=aciFU9rNt84C&printsec=frontcover&dq=stop+caretaking+the+borderline+or+narcissist&hl=en&sa=X&ei=FcegUvCHE4j92QWGkIC4Ag&ved=0CC8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=stop%20caretaking%20the%20borderline%20or%20narcissist&f=false> Stop Caretaking the BPD/NPD [/url]