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Title: His mom is dying, he is blowing up my cell and home line Post by: drv3006 on December 05, 2013, 10:24:11 AM I don't know what to do. I was there for him everyday at the hospital. How do I leave someone who has no one and his mother is dying. He is just being awful and I can't take it anymore.
His mom is so sweet and she is dying. he has lost it and I just went off on him. Why because after me being at work all day and sitting at the hospital at night, he wanted me to go look at his ex wife's xmas lights. i said I am going home, I am tired and not going to look at your ex's xmas lights. Now i am a jealous person who is is not there for him. I don't understand. He just lectured me for getting along with her when she brought the kids up to the grandmother. I called his therapist. I didn't know what to do. After he kept being hateful, I this nice supposively person told him he was nuts and to do himself in. What do you all think about that. I called him an a#shole. He has sent over 200 text over me not seeing those lights. I want to walk away but jeez, she is dying and he has no one. He said something about ending his life, which is a fear of mine because my brother did that. So what do I do after a zillion text. he is yelling and doing this by his mother. He told her I was mean and insensitive and uncaring. I can't believe this. Even when someone is dying i would not have thought this. And i am upset and only giving you bits and pieces. There is so much more and I know you all have so much more too. How can I walk away from this Help me please. I am not thinking clearly. Title: Re: His mom is dying, he is blowing up my cell and home line Post by: drv3006 on December 05, 2013, 10:30:01 AM I deleted over 200 text since last night and ahve received 72 more. I am waiting for his doctor to call me. He is still texting. Not one stating how his mom is doing. not one
Title: Re: His mom is dying, he is blowing up my cell and home line Post by: love4meNOTu on December 05, 2013, 11:23:22 AM Not one stating how his mom is doing, not one.
This is what you will deal with for the rest of your life if you can't walk away. You will be in the hospital, and it will be all about him. Your children will be ill and it will be all about him. Your parents will be ill and it will be all about him, every single time. Yes, you have compassion. You are calling his doctor. Yes, you have to take care of yourself here too... . Let go or be dragged. My prayers are with you. Title: Re: His mom is dying, he is blowing up my cell and home line Post by: Surnia on December 06, 2013, 10:14:40 AM So sorry to hear this, its really a tough situation you are in.
How are you today? Does he continue with his texts? Title: Re: His mom is dying, he is blowing up my cell and home line Post by: Waddams on December 06, 2013, 10:42:47 AM Just my thoughts - but I understand his mom being a good person and you having compassion for her. However, to me it's okay to compartmentalize some of this. You can have compassion for his mother, and maybe even go visit her on your own, and still have a strong boundary of not responding and getting sucked into his craziness. You can even have compassion for the pain he's in over losing his mother, send a nice note, empathize with his pain over his lose, express sympathy, etc. And then you can tell him that his loosing it towards you is still unacceptable and his pain does not give him the right to bombard you like this, so you will provide what support and comfort you can to his mother, independently of him, and you expect him to leave you alone.
You don't need to talk to his therapist. You don't need to do jack for him. He's supposed to be a big boy, and handling loss is something we've all got to do eventually. It's okay to just take care of you, be there in an appropriate way for his mom, and let him take care of him. Again, just my humble opinion. |