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Do I engage or not. It seems once a week I get a text from uBPDexgf, either asking for something or just wanting to “chat”. As recently as today, sending me a text about her passenger door (which she claims I broke a year ago) is getting worse, and how expensive it will be to fix. Her text started as “Not that it’s your problem, but…... ”. Well I did text her back asking that if it’s not my concern, as you say, why are you texting me?, why not anybody else. This led to a texting conversation I wish I hadn’t engaged in. Let me preface this by stating she has done irreparable damage in my house, even breaking sentimental things that cannot be replaced. How she has the nerve to text me about this door, I don’t know.

At the end, I said let me know how much and I’ll pay half, only if you leave me alone. That led her to start her pleading that we are friends, and need to be.

So, the question to engage or not. I felt I had to in this instance given I didn’t feel responsible for the door, and the amount of damage she has cost me. I just don’t understand why, today, she sends this text asking this questions…... I guess I’m wasting my time trying to figure this out.

You decide if it's a waste of time or not.  When I was caught up in the addiction and the insanity, I couldn't think straight, but once I stopped the bleeding by leaving and getting my feet on the ground, I thought about the emotional, psychological, and physical abuse, the lying, the condescension, the disrespect, the chaos for the sake of chaos, and not only do I not want a 'friendship' with this person, I can't stand her, and she needs to be 100% out of my life.  People who treat me like that are not friends, in fact if some dude did that we'd be going to blows.

So if you focus on all the sht that went down that led to the break-up in the first place, or repeatedly, a much more important question is why is contacting her or not a question?  If you owe her money or need to give her something back because it's the right thing to do, something you need to do to act within your values and retain integrity, then by all means do that.  But ask yourself why you want to go back to something that has caused pain?