BPDFamily.com

I posted in the intro section but thought I should also post here... .

My history with my exBF is three years of hell, watching him becoming addicted to pills, go to rehab, relapse sever times, etc. He's displayed several of the BPD traits over the years, including major lies. I can explain alot but right now need to focus on this past week.

My ex was thrown in jail for having outstanding warrants (which I didn't know about) for not completing a previous probation and paying fines and having two pills on him when he was arrested. He went to jail for 30 days, in which I allowed him to call me, he told me how sorry he was, and how important I am in his life, on and on and on. When he was released we spent a weekend together over thanksgiving. He left his dog with us because my five year old loves her. He was supposed to come to my home the following weekend to spend the weekend with us. I started to doubt what I was doing and told him I didn't want him to come with us. It turned into a massive argument. I was leaving to go out of town this week for work for a few days so he knew he needed to pick up his dog. I gave him an opportunity when I wasn't home to pick up his dog friday and saturday nights and left the door unlocked. He never came. Sunday I got texts around 2 pm saying he was going to leave in a bit to come get the dog. He never came.

Sunday started to escalate. We get in a huge argument about the dog. I put my daughter to bed. Next thing I know it is after she is asleep and I hear a banging on the door. I look outside and see him looking angry with his mom. I don't answer the door. The dog starts barking. My daughter starts freaking out because people are banging on the door and ringing the doorbell like crazy. I go to bed with her to soothe her and the dog and try and settle everyone down. I turned the lights off hoping they would leave. Next thing I know it stops and starts again and then stops. I put a movie on for my daughter to get her to go back to bed and settle down.  She finally goes to sleep. A few hours later I get up and listen to my voicemails from him saying they had the police at my house, they are going to call CPS for leaving my daughter home alone, etc. My god. I called the police myself and documented to the police officer I was home. I explained why I didn’t answer the door and gave my ex BFs history and told her that he recently was in jail and he looked angry when I looked outside.

She asked why I didn’t answer the door for her when she came earlier. I explained I had no idea the police were even at my house! Apparently they told the police they knocked on the door, heard the dog barking, heard my daughter screaming and then saw me pull up to the driveway, drive past the house and then back into the driveway, that I left my daughter home alone. Lies.

The next day I talked to my ex for awhile. He knows me better. He knows I would NEVER abuse or neglect my child. I got a phone call from CPS and she was at my house stating that there was a claim that I’ve left my daughter home alone on several occasions for hours at a time. I am stunned. I cannot believe this is happening. I have never left her home alone for hours, I’ve never done drugs, the worse thing I can say I’ve done is allow this man into our lives.

The CPS agent talked to my daughter and I. My daughter told her I’ve never left her home alone, that she was screaming because the knocking scared her and that I was on the couch and that I came back to bed with her because she was scared. I am humiliated and terrified my daughter is in danger due to a false claim. I saw the police reports. It’s their word against mine and from what I read I’m guilty until proven innocent with these people. The CPS agent went through my home. There’s not even a drop of alcohol in this house and it is safe and spotless. I work hard, take care of my daughter and raise her well. I’ve never even spanked her.

The CPS agent took phone numbers to our daycare, my daughter’s father, my sister and my ex boyfriend. I am terrified. I can not believe they would do this. He knows me better than this He knows I would NEVER leave my child home alone for hours. I’m so sick by this. I never in a million years saw this coming. Please help and offer advise.

Oh I should note, my daughter’s father knows. He is so angry at my ex. All he said is he knows what a wonderful mother I am and loves me. He knows I would never do this to my daughter. He knows about my exBF and our history and am glad that I never hid that from him. He is extremely supportive and knows me better than all of this. My daycare provider feels the same. She also knew about my ex. No one has anything bad to say about me as a parent but this is terrifying.

Angel,

I have had the same thing happen several times.

All lies and fabrications.

All dismissed.

God, this makes me so sad to hear.

I am sorry you are going through this. Mine is telling everyone I am a psycho stalker... .this is so much worse.

These people are crazy and dangerous.

Broken - what was it like with the CPS person? This woman has to now go read a false police report made by my ex and his mother (who's bipolar) that they were at my home, my child was screaming and they saw me pull into the driveway after them. I haven't read their entire police report. I picked up mine and didn't realize there was a second one from the first time the police were at my home. I'm just thinking the worse. Im sure it looked horrible to the officer that I didn't answer the door when she pulled in behind them but I swear to god, I had no idea that was an officer at my door. I thought it was still my ex and his mom. I was upstairs with my daughter in bed trying to calm her and the dog down. If I had known it was an officer I would have answered.

I'm just thinking the worse. This agent doesn't know me and my daughter so it's he said/she said stuff and on paper they made me look bad. . . like I ignored a police officer but I didn't even know she was there.

Thank god, I called the officer myself but it was a few hours later when I listened to my ex BFs voicemails telling me the police were there.

This is just so horrible. I'm a mess.

Angel, I am a CPS investigator. About 75% of the abuse reports we receive in my state are either misunderstandings, or flat out fabrications. We put great weight into what the children say, as well as collaterals, such as the other parent, school and daycare. It sounds like this agent is covering all of her bases, and documenting this to be no indicators. Best to you through this trying time.

Thanks that makes me feel a little better. Like my sister just said in response to my text to her that says I wonder if he even realizes what he's created. Her response... .yes, he created the end... .the end of you and him FINALLY.

I guess sometimes some of us need to have something totally disgusting beyond belief like this to happen to realize how sick and vengeful these people really can be.

Angel,

They were very professional. They asked me, and my kids what happened. Everyones statement was the same except for the ex.Who does not even live in the home anymore. They looked around to see if the home was neat. Food in refridge etc.

At first they would just drop in. To see if they could catch me off guard.

CPS now has closed the cases and even written a letter to the judge in my favor. The CPS office now has my nutty ex on their radar. And all the officers in the police department know me and the situation very well by now.

Sometimes things actually work to your benefit.