BPDFamily.com

Hi guys, have you ever noticed that your wives or husbands uesd to wear their wedding rings all the time since beginning of the relationship?

  yes mine did! One month seeing him, he came to my house got down on one knee, and wanted to marry me ,  he had wedding ring in hand. Then when I said we should wait to get to know each other better lover, . He wore his wedding ring to work wasn't until the guys at work asked why he would wear a wedding ring if he wasn't married.

Mine stopped wearing the engagement ring over a year ago. I should have clued in. She said it was due to gaining weight after the second baby. BS. I should have clued in, nevermind the other things which were much more obvious. One f many things I ignored... .one of many things I have to take resonsibility for.

It seems to me many pwBPD wear marriage as some kind of badge of honor... .Of being wanted and worth something maybe. My BPD ex, who I met at 21, was married and divorced at 19. She has been engaged a few times aside from that as well ( she is 22 now). She was engaged to the guy who followed(/was co-current with) my replacement (she knew this guy for a few months) and is now on to someone new. It's kind of like tthey think getting married will solve their problems and make it all go away; woe unto them and their spouses when they get hitched and shockingly the problems persist

ETA: I am 20 and single, never married, so take what I say on the subject of marriage with a grain of salt as I have never been there.

My husband uesd to wear his rings all the time and he only used to take it off when he had a shower. I used to think; wow how much he was in love with me!

I do understand now, wearing his ring wasn't about me at all. He knew that he wasn't normal, and by doing that he wanted to say; look I'm married. Normal people get married and are in relationships. I wasn't in the equation at all so he would do this to mrs x,y and z. Sometimes I want to scream and cry for such a foolish wishful thinking I had. Depression is not a word to describe my agony.

Wow guys.   I got her an engagement ring which she wore for the past 4.5 years. I designed the ring myself using diamonds from a previous ring.   But we never set a date for a wedding.  I just couldn't marry her!   Something was wrong enough that I decided I couldn't take that plunge.   Kept hoping for that time, but it never came!  Now, I see that might have been a good NO decision!  

She wore it until 4 days before I was kicked out of the house.  So weird!

D

Taking

How lucky you are!

When he sensed that I might leave him, he stole my very pricy diamond ring and pretended that I'm very clumsy and I lost it in our home!

After that he bought a plain gold ring but with our names written inside of it and the date of our wedding day. Wow, how romantic or how FAKE was it? I didn't know on that time he used that ring to recycle me back but I wasn't worthy enough to keep my diamond ring!

My ex and I never got to the point of marriage (thankfully) so my experience was slightly different.  Early in the relationship I bought her a bracelet.  Nothing fancy, just a silver chain that went around her wrist and finger.  I think they are called infinity bracelets.  Anyway, we ordered it and it showed up a day later then it was suppose to and she freaked out and sent a rather nasty email to the lady who had made it (we bought it off Etsy).  She wore it constantly.  I watched her frantically tear her apartment apart when she misplaced it one time, even though I told her I would get her a new one.

The thing that I was with wore a wedding/engagement set from one of her previous adventures. She said she bought them herself. Always wore them... Every day. It didn't really bother me. She was never married. I lost track of her... .She could be married now. I have no clue. Don't want one either. I would have married her IF she kicked her meth habit, got a job,started therapy, and didn't abuse me in any way for at least a year. Mmmmhmmm... right!

If this was a competition to see who had the most f'd up partner I bet I'd win. That really does say a lot for me.

Hard to say if winning is losing on this board, Perfidy!  lol

My UBPDw is complaining about her ring being tight and she does not want to wear it.  She has also recently started wearing her ex-fiances engagement ring(they were never married after 6 year together).  She knows it drives my nuts. She does it anyway.

Since we’re on the subject of rings. I asked my uBPDexgf to marry me about 2 years ago. But after some acts of rage, possible cheating, etc., I could not go through with it and broke the engagement. But, we stayed in a r/s (stupid of me). For the next 1.5 years she would always ask if I still had the ring, in which I did. I’m thinking in hopes we would get engaged again….but we did not. So she said we need to sell it. I agreed to this, and agreed to splitting the money between us. Now, I’m not sure of the protocol when you break an engagement with someone, who keeps the ring, or whatever. Anyway, she says she will sell the ring. About 1 week later, she tells me she lost it and can’t find it. But, she will file it with her homeowner insurance so maybe we can get some $$ out of it. She says I will be getting a call from her insurance company to discuss the claim….I never did. Then she says she got the check from the insurance company, which I never say. She gave me about 10% of the money, and pocketed the rest.

My first thought about this whole ordeal is that she never lost the ring, but pawned/sold it. Then filed it as lost with her insurance company….which would be insurance fraud.

Wow!  I believe you.   I, too, have been ripped off by the expwBPD.   We who trust DO get taken advantage of... .

D