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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: happylogist on December 16, 2013, 08:07:16 AM



Title: Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
Post by: happylogist on December 16, 2013, 08:07:16 AM
Was just wondering,

are there many who've dated mutual friends after breaking up with someone?

From my experience and seeing here and there, I have an impression that it is relatively common to have a uBPDex moving on with a mutual acquaintance or friend.

On the hand, I guess when you are down friends are more likely to show compassion and offer some solace, also one becomes available and maybe dating mutual friends is something yet a bit untold but is still very common.

The last one is I think would be my ex's argument.

Just wondering...


Title: Re: Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
Post by: Pretty Woman on December 16, 2013, 08:53:17 AM
About two months prior to our break my ex started hanging out more with this mutual friend. I was busy, partially because I was growing sick of being treated like crap. So after a weekend where I wasn't feeling happy and I assume my ex felt like I was rejecting her, she dumped me and said we should see other people.

I knew immediately who this person was. She had been dropping hints that if we were not together she believed this person was interested... .and yes, this person is very needy and I could see she admired my ex.

She has no idea what she is in for.

BPD's tend to pick a weaker target the next time around someone who is more co-dependent and of course, another caregiver type.

My BPD was a loner and had 1 friend in our state, a red flag I should have heeded. I was not surprised when she hooked up with this girl. She is currently isolating her (we have mutual friends) and I am sure happy as a clam (idealization phase). I have been painted blacker than black (blocked me on email, FB and phone) so I am actually comforted knowing this other person has to deal with this. Enjoying a lovely holiday only to see in a few months this chick has severe issues.


Title: Re: Dating a mutual friend after the breakup: is it something common? BPDs and NONs
Post by: Littleopener on December 16, 2013, 01:36:10 PM
Yes, he moved on to a mutual friend. She however didn't know about me and him because he didn't tell anyone about us, like he was ashamed of me.