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Title: Wow. The first time we can talk feelings. Post by: Chosen on December 16, 2013, 10:05:57 PM Things have been going well lately, and last weekend I think we've had a bit of breakthrough! (my H is undiagnosed and definitely high-functioning, by the way)
First, that day was the first time I lost my temper and he was happy with it, lol. We went to estate agent because we're thinking of moving, and at the end the agent said some really nasty stuff, trying to get us to sign the papers. H didn't want to sign, but the agent kept on pushing, even going as far to personally attacking us (saying if we refuse to sign, our intentions of checking out the apartments are suspicious and he doesn't know what we're up to). I got really a angry and basically said that he is really rude and shouldn't attack us, etc. My H told me afterwards that it's the first time he thinks it's right that I lost my temper, because he knew I was protecting him. Then later that night, we talked for a few HOURS in bed, not him lecturing me or anything, but sharing a lot about how he feels about life in general, about work, family, and also told me his insecurities. I think it's the first time he opened up himself enough and he knows I'll not judge him for being "weak" or vulnerable. Of course, I remembered to validate as well, so that was good for me Title: Re: Wow. The first time we can talk feelings. Post by: waverider on December 17, 2013, 06:41:59 AM Sounds like things are evolving nicely for you.
Once you can eliminate a lot of unneccessary conflict the defenses start to drop and you can have "real" sharing conversations. Good to feel like a team again. |iiii Title: Re: Wow. The first time we can talk feelings. Post by: briefcase on December 18, 2013, 03:01:53 PM Sounds like a really positive development! Thank you for sharing it with us.
Sounds like you need a new real estate agent. lol |