BPDFamily.com

 I got an appointment for my first therapy session, nervous, i decided after reading here the last few weeks and reading a lot of people are going to therapy,why not try it, i got the insurance,i have been through about a year and a half friendship with a female friend(i"m married, nothing inappropriate)I identify with all the feelings i read here relating to being involved with pwBPD, and know the friendship is coming to an end ,i think the main reason is i can be a trigger to her illness now, i guess thats just how it works,and also i need to not get drawn back in to trying to help her,its not really my place anymore,so i am just going to try to deal with this topic now and try to get back to being myself, thanks everyone for posting and replying here,it helps to understand the effects of BPD on other people,and to know i am not alone.  

The first few sessions won't be game changers.  It is very helpful though to speak to an objective, professionally trained person about these things. Don't be nervous, it's really not that big a deal. It really does help you sort out all the confusing emotions. And if one therapist doesn't seem your type don't be afraid to try another. Their feelings won't get hurt.  Have patience and give it an honest try.

It's totally understandable to feel nervous, gregory. Sometimes we get to the point where we can benefit from that objective professional like tincanmike said.

I know that talking with a professional has helped me tremendously. The more honest I am, and the more I put into the sessions, the more I've gotten out of them. I hope you find the same.

Gregory,

   It's hard when we realize we are triggers for them, but it's not your fault. Being lovers or friends with a BPD is very, very hard. You read all the posts on here about how some people try to stay friends with their exes after a breakup and end up getting hurt worse.

They use us. If a relationship sucked with them why would a friendship be any better? If I can't trust my lover how can I trust my friend?

In my situation once she realized I was on to her the gig was up. I told her an ex told me she was incapable of fully loving someone and this was not my fault. She told me I betrayed her by talking to all her exes.

I did not talk to all her exes.

(see their irrational behaviors).

She told me I would NEVER EVER be in her life and she could NEVER EVER trust me again.

Like this is a punishment. She cheated on and left me. This is not my loss.

I know your situation is different, Gregory but in the same vain, do not be afraid of therapy. Talking this out with a professional will help greatly. They will help you to take the steps you need to get out of this situation.

Keep in mind, you cannot help anyone who doesn't think they have a problem. It is useless. All you can do is work on you so you don't attract these friendships in the first place.

Keep us posted how the appt goes!

Therapy is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Seriously, I've worked through some issues that were always under the surface that I had avoided and not even noticed.  There is absolutely zero shame in going to see a therapist. If you had a broken arm, you'd go see a doctor, right?

What is it that you want to work on about yourself in therapy?

 Thanks for the replys, my second appointment is tonight,( just-think,) i talked to the therapist about that i wanted to focus on detaching for now, she seemed to agree, i was glad i decided to do this the nerves settled down once i got in the therapist office and started talking, i felt i talked to much,she works with talk therapy and art therapy, i said i was interested in the art therapy,i am doing better, last week you could of told me to rub a lantern and a genie would come out and give my a wish, i would wish to stop obsessing about pwBPD, my friend pwBPD, hinted to me to drive her to physiciarist apointment, normaly i would, but i knew i might get hurt again, and didn"t want to go to therapy tonight saying i drove her to the dr,. haven"t herad from her since,doing ok today.

Gregory:

Going to therapy is a very courageous step

To me , a great therapist is like a great pair of shoes--they fit well and support me. 

I always feel like the Cowardly Lion when I go to mine.  A really good therapy session gives me a headache, and I feel exhausted.

My insurance is changing for next year, and due to a lack of private funding, I have to find someone new.  I'm not so happy about that, but I know its important for me and my kids' sanity and health.

 Went to my fifth session yesterday, therapist said i am making progress, i did see my friend pwBPD 4 weeks ago took her to her therapist appointment and spent the day with her, we talked a few days on the phone, then she called and said her cousin died, 41 yrs old heart attack, she wasn"t handling it good, now her phone is off can"t get in touch with her, so i am worried for the last three weeks, she does have a good sister and father so i know she is in good hands,so this has left me no choice but to try to detach,i go to church, a 12 step group,do a little exersice, alot of reading, am on this site,so i told the therapist that i am not putting the whole burden her, she says it was ok to,so i did, been fighting depression,read the article here on depression,and it talked about the garbage truck, i can"t believe all the garbage from the past that keeps coming to mind, its like this evil depression just wants to sink you in deeper, thank God it hasn"t, i won"t let it, Iv"e learned to seperate the illness from the person i feel so bad for a person with a mental illness i can recover,  there struggle i can"t even imagine,. Listening to the Bee Gees  greatest hits(Run to Me).

 Well friend pwBPD contacted me friday ,said she was in the hospital for three weeks,(behavioral health floor) was glad she was ok, nothing changed took her two days to paint me black, because i didn"t tell her i went by her apartment last week, she heard it from her roommate, i told her roommate to tell her i was asking for her ,i was worried,she said there i go again acting weird, then said she had to go to watch TV,i said ok, but it hits you like a knife in the heart,glad i know from here that this is what they do, and i am not weird, just someone involved with pwBPD.And i was doing a little better,now i see why people go no contact.

 Therapy apointment tonight, seems to be helping,haven"t called friend pwBPD  back since saturday when she said i was behaving weird again,(long story) now i don"t call back ,wait for therapy,then take it from there.

 I told the therapist she don"t need me, she said ,and you don"t need her, i said i"m not there yet,maybe there is hope for me.

 OK went to session yesterday, it seems to be going good,talked about my insurance and that i need to know,i can take my time going week to week and not rush though this process,she said my insurance is good, and she is not going any where,obsession with friend pwBPD is lifting what a relief,also love the fact we combine art therapy with talk therapy,i like drawing using oil pastals,can"t explan it but somehow it seems to be a big help,putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper using art as a form or expression,feel i would still be obsessed without the art therapy.thanks for reading.