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It has been 6 days nc. I changed my number.  I no longer have to wonder where he is or what he's doing or why he's calling me twenty times or not at all. I no longer have to live in fear of his wrath. My anxiety level has plummeted. I still think of him but less every day. I can focus my mental energy on things and people who deserve it. Not being in contact allows me to see him for what he truly is, and not the "wonderful but tortured" man I thought I was in love with. I'm embarrassed. I wish I could send him an "I'm sorry for telling you I love you... .I was temporarily delusional thanks to the cloud of insanity you brought to my life. Cheerio!"

The cloud is lifting... .I can see again... .

Nice job with going NC and changing your number.  Nothing to be gained from your "Cheerio" message,  as you probably know.  Stay strong!  We've all been fooled to some extent.  Your cloud is lifting - embrace that and move forward. 

 6 days that's great, I'm going on 8, I am going to take the step and change my number too. Everyday there is a text or 10 lol tries to engage me by sending strange texts and emails about things I use to care about that is use to. I too feel so dumb that I gave too many chances I should have cut it off 2 years and 364 days ago. Merry Christmas!

Thanks redkong... .  I won't be contacting him any time soon! no looking back this time... .I imagine once he figures out I changed my number he'll paint me black anyway (for the first time ever Im actually hoping he does... .that's progress)

Nevertheless-I was hesitant to change it... .so I waited until I was sure. If I had done it earlier I may have regretted it, but right now it feels like the healthiest decision I've made in a long time. Even my T thinks so and she never agrees with me so that's a big deal! Ha

6 days!, well done you!, welcome back to YOUR life!