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Whenever you meet someone new and they tell you "I'm bad" or "I'm a f$&@ed up bhit" believe them and walk away.

Good advice!  |iiii

Hi Kallor74

Interesting idea. Maybe we can make a collection of that particular kind of red-flag statement. I was given one, which led into the whole BPD SO drama and recycling, lasting for years, which was:

"I'm dangerous".

Yes, I should have listened more closely at that point.

OTOH, it wouldn't be a good idea to assume a one-to-one correspondence between BPD and these statements. I had another SO who I now believe has BPD, who didn't give me that specific kind of statement (there were other red flags, but not that upfront negative self-description).

And, isn't it possible that somebody might say that, and not have BPD, and turn out to be a very good partner? --A situation where maybe you just caught them on an off day, or even an off month, or at a time when they're doing some serious introspection... .

So, if I run into this sort of statement again I think I'll view it as being likely to indicate serious problems, and watch the situation carefully and investigate further (and not ignore or deny it, like I did the last time) -- but still, I don't think I'd walk directly away without further evidence.

I mean, it's not like they said, "I just killed somebody with an axe." 



PP


PP

Mine, dating back to friendship, referred to "the other side" of her. I have it strewn throughout the early 16,000 texts saved on my old android phone. She knew. She was aware. She mentioned "i would understand if you distanced yourself from me when i get like that" in reference to the transformation. And this was when we were just friends. I was totally clueless at that stage. I would soon learn. I would soon meet her other side over the phone first. And then in person.

Kallor... If I had an attractive chick tell me that my reply would be... ."stop your grinnin and drop your linen. Lets see how bad you are". The reason I'm here is I got a f'd up brain. A chick like that does something for the f'd up part of my brain. It's always the crazy one that gets me. A good friend of mine told me... ."If you want a girl really bad, then that's how you get her... REALLY BAD!". I have no doubt that I need to stop looking at them bad girls and start looking at my bad self!

I now recall my uBPDexgf saying when we first started dating "I'm sure I will screw this up somehow"

Should have listened, cause obviously she had screwed up previous ones... .and ultimately this one.

I don't know. I'm pretty messed up after being in a relationship with a BPD, I'm going to find it extremely hard to trust another man again. And I'll probably tell that man (when the time comes) this because honesty is the best policy with me. I hope he'll understand.


But I know what you mean. If anyone ever says "everyone abandons me" or "you'll run when you know the real me" then I will put my defences up.

I got "I hope you still find me beautiful when you've seen my flaws" at the beginning, and "I am dangerous" at the end.

at the beginning " it a takes a strong man to love me" and " I have relationship issues" and " I have abondement fears" and " I have trust issues " and " Im a runner" now I see all the red flags but of course i didnt think all these things would apply to me because she told me I was diffrent. LOL

and the big one if they have two names, run for your life. at work my ex was known as one name  and in her home state and with her friends she was known by another one. LOL

I should of listened to STBX when she told me that ^

One thing I've learned is this:

    NO MATTER WHAT  if the person you are seeing has different people of the opposite sex bye their house and they act like they have no knowledge why they would be there, or if they are talking to members of the opposite sex on the phone who they say are just friends calling to check up, and they have absolutely no friends of the Same sex they have known longer than six months    No matter how much they say they love you... .


HIT The Freakin DOOR!