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This is the first year since we moved and cut down on contact from family, so it will be the first year we've planned on having a small, just us, holiday.  Since I'm not really left with any healthy or happy traditions, I'm wondering what traditions you've started that you really enjoy doing.

This Christmas is a new one for us.  We're staying home, much to the disappointment of my enDad.  Going over to their house for Christmas would be giving my uBPD mom exactly what she wants, even at the expense of enDad and using him as bait.  (Relevant b/g is referenced in my introductory post.)  As a result, dad is suffering greatly.  But I also extended the invitation that he is welcome at our house (uBPD mom isn't); whether he takes us up on that offer remains to be seen.  And I have to realize that his suffering, really, is a result of his choices to put up with her games and manipulations for all these years.  There's nothing I can do about it.  So this will be brand-new for us.

Gads, can I ramble.

When my stepdaughter was small, we started a tradition of going to the mountains and cutting our own tree. The permit was pretty cheap, maybe $%, and we could drive all around until we found "the one." Then, we would go to a picnic area, all bundled up, and have sandwiches and hot chocolate. She still remembers the fun we had, and it was something new that she had never done.

Spending lots more time with friends, as well as diplomatically disappearing except to do food prep and clean-up.

Creating fun and happy memories with my kids, anything that accomplishes this goal.

Cooking, playing with gifts.

Living backwards creating what I missed as a kid.

I put my foot down this year as well and refused to play the game.  I just couldn't do it this year.  I need a year without drama and I need good holiday memories.  I never had them growing up.  Holidays seemed to make BPD worse.  Something as simple as a neighbor stopping by with a cake could turn into mass hysteria.

I make goodies with the kids and we take them to the neighbors.  My husband and I decided we were staying home Christmas Day and cooking a nice meal and hanging out by the fire.  Just us and our kids.  A few had a hard time with that.  We also try to do a little something for those less fortunate.  I really have to focus on gratitude because I can get negative and cynical really quick.  I also put a basket of Christmas books that we try to read throughout the month.  Simple little things... .Tonight we drove around and looked at Christmas lights with Christmas music on the radio. 

Good luck!   

Thanks for all the replies!  I just need to focus on just having a nice time together and enjoy my kids.