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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: broken but not beaten on December 22, 2013, 11:00:28 AM



Title: uxBPDgf offers closure?
Post by: broken but not beaten on December 22, 2013, 11:00:28 AM
She messaged me last night after a week nc... .I was starting to become stronger and fog was beginning to clear. Simply my name was all she messaged... .hours rolled by and against my better judgement I replied (I know foolish of me)... .but I was intrigued as to what she had to say... she asked if we could ever be friends to which I replied I don't know. Then I get a message asking if she can call and talk as she felt it important we have a closure conversation. I don't want this I feel I gained closure on my own and told her after her poor treatment and my requests to talk to her to discuss issues which she ignored that was closure for me. Embarrassingly I also sent a huge bouquet of flowers and champagne to her before beginning nc to try talk things through... my thanks was do you want half the money! Anyway she then tells me its been hard for her and she couldn't cope with the stress of our rs but is now beginning to see daylight. I questioned why she needed closure when she chose to walk away and told her to go live her life as she told me she was happy and she has nothing to offer me. Then began the start of blaming me that she will do the best by her children and they will always be her priority... .I'm just left thinking what the fk? She says she has nothing to offer but worries about me and hopes I'm ok. I'm really angry to be honest and told her this closure conversation is all about her and her needs... .I'm just so mad at myself knowing the outcome of engaging into any form of communication,knowing what the outcome will be but hoping for something different. I know its because she's not getting attention elsewhere and is 'testing the waters' so to speak it just p!sses me off,I tried previously to get shot down and dumped on my ass with a good boot in the balls too and she's asking me for closure as if its doing me a favour... .sorry guys just a vent and trying to make sense in going forwards not backwards


Title: Re: uxBPDgf offers closure?
Post by: Waifed on December 22, 2013, 11:23:35 AM
It's OK. It's only been a week. You didn't do anything that most on here didn't do. It took me 2 weeks after we broke up to go NC. I tried to get closure too. I desperately needed it at the time.

Get yourself some help if you think you need it, concentrate on yourself.  It has helped me so much by talking about my childhood.  She has become secondary in our conversations. I am almost 4 months out and life is looking better all the time! You too will look back at all the craziness and realize that you are much better off without her in your life.