BPDFamily.com

So many of our stories sound alike. I was wondering... .how long did bliss last in your relationship before the hit hit the fan? And does it always end with your BPD in another relationship? (I think I know the answer and it's yes). If not how did it end? Why did it end?

6 months before the giant @a$ in the sky came down and unloaded its contents one me

My one year relationship was a roller coaster from month one, but with many stretches of bliss. The relationship just recently ended because I wasn't willing to make another life changing compromise by moving to another state with her, but also because I found out she had been on an online dating service during our relationship. She said it was just about making friends. Even with ultimatums and what I deem emotional infidelity or what felt like testing the waters for possibilities, it's still difficult to stay out of contact.

12  months of push/pull followed by bliss ... rinse and repeat.

12 months until he went from telling me he would never turn away from me until he dumped me and went on a first date that very night.

A lifetime or a short story?

Not sure about that one.

bliss for 3 months, then it went sour, i left, she attempted suicide, i came back, she kept me at a distance and called the shots, 3 months later dumped

It took about six months before I saw the first dysregulation. This was approximately two weeks after we were married. I went on an overnight work trip and I was called constantly... . texts... . strange desperate sounding phone calls... threats. I was absolutely shocked. I had no idea what was happening. I was given a bag at check in to the hotel with the company's logo on it, took a photo of the beautiful room I was sleeping in that evening, and the bag was on the bed.

I sent him the photo.

He responded... WHO'S BAG IS ON THE BED?

Yes, I know. I thought it was beyond bizarre. We'd been married for two weeks, blissfully in love or so I thought. But the truth is, he trusts no one. He never should have married me (or anyone else for that matter) because he just cannot trust.

My marriage ended one year and six months after that. I could not do it any longer. Once a month rages led to weekly rages, insane accusations of cheating, raging at me in front of my children. I had no idea at the time that it was BPD. I'm not sure if I would have done anything differently had I known.

Honestly, I was so panicked about who I had let into my life and my children's lives that I had to get out.

I was terrified of him, and who he really was. He scared me.

I did love him. He did not love me, he needed me. I do not know if he was unfaithful to me but I assume he was, due to the fact that he cannot be alone.

L

Bliss lasted for 2 years.

Normal relationship with ups and downs and occasional outbursts (that I thought were my fault because I was told so) lasted 8 years. That´s where the abuse started. It was so small at first I would just say to myself "he had a bad day at work". I ignored the bad moments and kept thinking, I shouldn´t have said that, done that, and worked at making the best of our relationship. The worst it got, the harder I worked at making it better. After all, I vowed to love this man until death due us part, so I worked hard, really hard at making it work. I kept hearing that I was the problem, so I tried to work on MY problem, which was in essence, being me. My solution was the worst possible: stop being me. Stop having friends, stop working, stop having dreams, stop expressing my negative thoughts on our relationship... . I put on a smile 100% of the time. Be a doormat. At least that way there was minimal conflict. Dumb me.

Hell started after my d9 was born, the 8th year. The stress was so great he flipped. That's when I started to figure out there is something really wrong with this man.  red-flag This is not normal. I always thought he was difficult, but something strung all the red flags with a kid in the house. Then 1 year later, my s7 was born. Hell, Hell, Hell... . but I stayed.

In August last year, when I found out about BPD and infidelity issues that had been going on for 14 years, I was torn to pieces. I am trying leaving only now, after 17 years with this man.

I was never a part of this marriage... . Never will be.

Bliss? Less than 6 weeks. Been together for 13 years this month. Seems like 113 years. The periods of bliss were very short for us. If I was careful, I could maybe get a few hours, a couple of days... . once I think we got two consistent weeks out of it. But it never lasts.  :'(

First go round about 8 months of wonderful (tons of sex)  before it turned bad. Then years later we dated again... was about 4 months that time, then started fighting/breaking up/recycling... each time was less good, more horrible. By the 7th-8th times... we would have a nice day making up and be fighting before sundown.

Nice day is about it... . hell part was over the top hell... I thought she was going to kill me or someone... very scary... . oh and I lost my family, 1/2 of everything I owned(divorce), my job and (she called 30+ times a day) thanks to my pwBPD.

Write down how long it is great... okay... bad and horrible... over time my findings were;

great about 10 months out of 4 yrs

okay... about 4 months out of 4 yrs

new level of hell... . rest of time

I noticed "issues" since date 1... . I justified, made excuses, etc... the push pull started early and has never went away...

For me it was good for 2 months and I had boundaries about only spending time together on the weekend. Even then, I got a lot of daily calls and texts but I thought maybe that would lessen with time.

One weekend I had tons of work to do and couldnt spend it with her. I got a phone call from her saying she was suicidal and I dropped everything to go be with her. That was the start of it.

The real end started at the 1 year mark when I finally gave in to most of her demands and pretty much moved in with her. She spent most of those months after work just laying on the couch watching TV or sleeping. We finally broke up and she moved in with someone else a couple of months later.

Bliss lasted for two months, then the s**t hit the fan. It was like suddenly, there was a new life-or-death crisis every single week and every time we had a really *good* day (short-term bliss) together, the followup was always a crisis - real or manufactured - and then the rage and accusations... .