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Hi folks, I hope you've all had a good Christmas and that you SO's have been kind to you.  Mine has been great this year, no drama, no projection, no rages.  He had a major rage the week before but seems to have put all that behind him and appears to have really made an effort this year.   

I am however on edge today waiting for him to crumble, the family have finished visiting, the socials are done and I have a feeling today might be the day he explodes.  So my plan is to keep my distance although not in an obvious way, I will potter around the house, complete my chores and then sit down to read my book. 

For those who have had a difficult one my thoughts are with you xxx

I had a good one, we took ourselves away for a weeks vacation up to and including xmas day, so non of the push, pull and invalidation triggers from her family. So it was all good :) *)

Mine had a meltdown and spent a good part of xmas eve in her room with the lights out.  BUT - we just kept right on with the activities (in laws, brother in law, and the kids) and had a big meal.  Later in the evening she came down and sat while we all opened some presents.

By xmas morning she was 'better' (still remnants of being triggered, but not overloaded). 

So sure drama.  But we didnt react to it and just held the course.  Its becoming 'normal' to everyone (and was good for her family to experience it in this way - they certainly have been exposed to drama in the past but not quite the same as simply addressing it matter of factly as just part of who she is).

Hold the course!

I thought I was home free but Christmas eve he wigged out for no apparent reason and made us all hold our breath as to how far he would take it... .we ignored him and he eventually leveled... .but today he flipped again... .holidays are major triggers and I hate it.   I manage him now but I so wish I had known this before I married him... .   :'(

This was the best Christmas since our first few, we have been together 15 yrs. I think what changed it was two things, I figured out what he had last May so know to watch for triggers and he has new part time job he started in April and had to work over the holidays and it kept him from sitting around depressed.

Even though this was a year at home, it went well, he thanked me for the good meals.

Even though I was alone a lot I felt peaceful... .

We go to our out of state kids every other year.

Well I'm pleased to report we are still drama free :-)

It's been such a lovely christmas without any rages, sometimes I feel as though he does it through habit, I think the change in routine has done us good.  It also shows that even though he always says I cause the rages, it's actually his work as since he finished last week he has been great.  Hopefully I have now learnt not to take his moods personally and to just carry out with my day to day tasks. 

I feel this christmas has taught me a lot, here is to a happier new year.  Last New Year's Eve he raged and I spent it alone in bed followed by a week of silence.   

I know going back to work will trigger him but I am determined to not rise to it :-)