Title: Newbie... sort of Post by: Upbeat Girl on December 27, 2013, 04:42:55 PM
TAKE THE PLEDGE HERE (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=210524.0) Title: Re: Newbie... sort of Post by: crazedncrazymom on December 28, 2013, 05:20:21 AM Hi Upbeat girl! *welcome*
I can imagine it taking so long to come out of denial regarding your sons diagnosis. It must be so hard for you to come to terms with having your son follow in his fathers footsteps. How are you handling it? Do you see a lot of your ex-husband in your son? I can totally see my daughter asking me to keep her money and then going beyond her budget and wanting me to give more. It's a danged if you do and danged if you don't situation. I think that's when you look at what you're doing: Managing his money/meds for him. Are you doing a good job: yes, until he badgers you for more and you give in to keep him from driving you crazy. How can you set a limit to change the situation and then let him know what the limit is without causing a fight? I'm so glad you came over to the parenting board. We have so many parents facing the same challenges. I hope you can gain some insight into your sons behavior and continue the self-work you started on the other boards. -crazed Title: Re: Newbie... sort of Post by: Being Mindful on December 28, 2013, 09:38:23 AM Hi Upbeat girl!
Welcome to the parent board. I'm glad you are here and so sorry to hear what you are going through. You've landed in a great place here. We are here to support you on your journey. How do you cope? Are you taking good care of yourself? Do you have friends or family to help? I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Being Mindful Title: Re: Newbie... sort of Post by: Upbeat Girl on December 29, 2013, 04:06:26 PM Thank you for your warm welcome. I think I do look after myself. I try really hard to use SET whenever I can and this helps. I try to stand firm in the boundaries I've created for the sake of myself as well as my other 2 sons. Yes, I see so much of my ex in my son and it would kill him if I ever told him that he's just like his father. 3 days ago he spent every last cent he had on the purchase of a motorcycle. He keeps putting off insurance and he filmed a 'race' he had with another rider using a "gopro" camera yesterday. This race was on a public road and went on for twenty kilometres. He has owned this bike for 3 days after writing his last one off. He owned the last one for six months. He expected me to be impressed when he showed me how fast he rode and when I told him that I wasn't impressed, he became upset. Last week he climbed over the guard rail of a 24 storey high building and said, "Hey Mum, look at me!" I felt sick and had to turn away. He seems to want to destroy himself and can't refuse a challenge that involves risk. I don't know if it's the drugs he takes or his BPD which make him like this. I have had to cut myself off from him emotionally or I would be a mess. The way I figure it, he will kill himself one day and ultimately, I have no control over him. I feel really sad about this.
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