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I have deleted her on facebook but none of my friends have. I logged into one of their accounts and saw all of these pictures she just posted of her and one of our dogs we got together and her and her family just looking so ___ing happy!

I am pissed because while we were together she made my life hell if I posted things on facebook or if I was even on Facebook, she NEVER posted pics of herself or of anything and she seems so damn happy and she was miserable when I was with her... .

She is dating someone new so maybe she is doing it for a positive reaction from him because her posting that is defiantly out of character... .

Are borderlines good actors or are they convinced that this is how they feel?

Hello there Magic,

   Sorry to hear about what you're going through, I know it's not pleasant.  I figured out that if I deleted her AND blocked her then I wouldn't have to worry about accidentally seeing anything related to her on FB.  They are good actors, that is all it is.  Trust that whoever this next person is going to be, they're getting equal/worst treatment.  Please don't doubt that for even a second.  Trust that it's all fake, in my opinion there is a very very small percentage of truly happy BPD if any at all. Chances are she is trying to impress/compensate for how she actually feels inside.  As a common saying goes around here, you dodged a bullet and if you can find a way to celebrate that, do so.

Take care of yourself, with a healthy NC things tend to only get better from here.

Jj, it's funny how you say "good actor". I ride horses, and when we are evaluating a new one, we of course remark on its physical beauty (think pwBPD), then we set off to finding out just what's on the inside, how he works, manners, personality, how much training or education, etc...   We call the well educated, gorgeous ones with bad manners, and snarky personalities, "bad actors" which is what I've starting calling the XBPDg/f.  She's physically beautiful, talented, highly educated, but she's a bad actor, her manners suck.

CiF

Hi magichat

This hurts.  

Its also the flip side from FB.  

What you can do is accepting your pain and being careful about FB.

I agree with you all... .She posted this article about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and I don't get it, is that what she thinks she needs because I gave her that and beyond I think and then got thrown away... .

“My wife got sick.  She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children.

She has lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs.

She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up.

Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role.

I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…But then I decided to act on it.

After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth.

She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.

I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.

You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.“             

- Brad Pitt

I think you may be trying to compare apples and oranges.

Angelina Jolie may not be BPD.  That's why she was able to flourish when Brad did this.

I did the same thing, I feel. She threw me away, as well.  A normal sane woman going through a crisis would love her man to do those things.  It would certainly help any couple fire on all cylinders and become stronger.

Yet, not so with the BPD couple