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Title: advice please Post by: arn131arn on December 28, 2013, 09:41:55 PM I said some pretty evil things to my ex after I found out about my replacement and the last detachment. A week later she told my mom she wanted to have a RS like my mom and dad did after there divorce. My mom and dad loved each other until the day he died, but very in a ver healthy way divorced and were able to be kind, have fun, be w one another during family times. I choose right now to have absolutely NC with her. Can I do this forever? We have a son (8) together, can I detach and still have conact? I know the replacement will not last, but fearful I will just go back and not be strong enough. She DOES come back... .every single time.
Title: Re: advice please Post by: damage control on December 28, 2013, 09:49:32 PM What is the advice you are seeking in regard to? Sorry, not sure from your post.
Title: Re: advice please Post by: arn131arn on December 28, 2013, 10:05:39 PM I don't know what the best way to approach her is. I don't want to enable the bad behavior anymore. I want to be strong enough to never go back. I want to continue NC as long as possible. But would this effect my son? My relationship with him? The way he views future RS? I know I need to teach him that woman cant treat him like that, that he doesnt have to cont to go back like I did. He's í... .seeen too much
Title: Re: advice please Post by: arn131arn on December 28, 2013, 10:06:09 PM Been considering CC
Title: Re: advice please Post by: damage control on December 28, 2013, 10:24:43 PM It doesn't sound like you are in a position to be considering contact right at the moment.
Perhaps give yourself some time to get your emotions under control and to feel stronger about your ability to have contact with your son on your terms rather than hers. Is it possible to organise contact with your son through a 3rd party? In-law or your parents/siblings - a friend? As for teaching your son life lessons ... well ... I am not sure that not/leaving is in-and-of-themselves a direct lesson. Seeing you get well and be strong, perhaps developing a healthy new RS and talking about things when the time is right and he is old enough to understand ... these have impact. Title: Re: advice please Post by: damage control on December 28, 2013, 10:25:15 PM Been considering CC I have no idea what that is? Title: Re: advice please Post by: arn131arn on December 28, 2013, 10:30:35 PM Controlled contact (in laws, friends, family members) like u said earlier
Title: Re: advice please Post by: santa on December 29, 2013, 12:03:52 AM I don't think it's possible to be friends. My ex said she wanted to be friends too. The problem is that she's a terrible person and she hates me more each day. How can you be friends with someone like that? Lol
We have a kid too. The way I'm handling it is to just not give a damn about anything she ever says and to keep contact with her at the absolute minimum. Title: Re: advice please Post by: arn131arn on December 29, 2013, 01:01:18 AM I need to keep it simple right now. Continue nc, start seeing therapist on jan 10, and deal with her dad about trying to figure out visitation and if he can't do it... .Go to court.
I am trying to do too much all at once. But that's what i do. I am a hard worker and when i want something i go after it. Right now, i want to work hard and get over her! It's crazy on my way home from work tonight i had an entire future conversation with her... .You are right... .I am going crazy! |