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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: zordon11 on December 30, 2013, 04:47:06 AM



Title: I have received a secret letter
Post by: zordon11 on December 30, 2013, 04:47:06 AM


So her aunt came to my house and gave me a package with my things I have left in my ex house.

So among some of the things that I have received there was a mysterious letter addressed to me 

(entire situation was bit childish maybe she felt embarrassed about all the things she did to me). 

Long story short, the letter was covered in her old perfume and it contained one quote about how hard it is to live without beloved one (I guess that would be me, but funny thing it was still about her and her feelings only). In the end she wished me all the best.

I'm having difficult time thinking about this thing. I'm slowly detaching but it seems like BPDs have a 6 sense and they know exactly when to strike again. What do you guys think about all this?


Title: Re: I have received a secret letter
Post by: heartandwhole on December 30, 2013, 04:57:03 AM
zordon11,

How do you feel receiving that letter?  I got a poem after more than a year of NC, and it destabilized me for a few days – and yes, it was mostly about his feelings.  No acknowledgement of my hurt.   I felt anger, compassion, lots of things.  Then I went on with my healing and my life.  :)

What about you? 


Title: Re: I have received a secret letter
Post by: zordon11 on December 30, 2013, 05:00:09 AM


For a moment I felt some sort of compassion/guilt but then I remembered all the hit she did to me and the way she treated me. Right now I don't think I feel anything. It may sound harsh but at the moment I have some other problems that I need to resolve (they are not related to the ex). 


Title: Re: I have received a secret letter
Post by: Iwalk-Heruns on December 30, 2013, 08:48:55 AM
I have experienced the letter after not even being willing to talk to me about ending the relationship. Just ran off. Again. He owed me some money so sent me a check six weeks later ( after I was trying to heal and left him alone) the check was a guise to get his last word in and was a fishing expedition to see if I was still on the hook. ( he was already with someone else that he was cheating with) it was full of mixed messages. Blame to me. None to him. But said we are both good people and he will miss me. Really? On what planet I should have said is what you did to me make you a good person.

This letter set me off on a texting spree when I was healing and had left him alone. He knew he would be ripping off old wounds and he couldn't stand that I wasn't running after him. I gave him what he wanted obviously but I was too hurt to control myself. Live and learn. In some ways I'm glad I did it because it let him know I wasnt his rag doll anymore. I don't think I'll be hearing from him.

By the way they absolutely have a six sense for when to strike. I have seen it play out over and over. It's almost like my house is bugged its so spot on.


Title: Re: I have received a secret letter
Post by: arn131arn on December 30, 2013, 09:02:37 AM
I have experienced the letter after not even being willing to talk to me about ending the relationship. Just ran off. Again. He owed me some money so sent me a check six weeks later ( after I was trying to heal and left him alone) the check was a guise to get his last word in and was a fishing expedition to see if I was still on the hook. ( he was already with someone else that he was cheating with) it was full of mixed messages. Blame to me. None to him. But said we are both good people and he will miss me. Really? On what planet I should have said is what you did to me make you a good person.

This letter set me off on a texting spree when I was healing and had left him alone. He knew he would be ripping off old wounds and he couldn't stand that I wasn't running after him. I gave him what he wanted obviously but I was too hurt to control myself. Live and learn. In some ways I'm glad I did it because it let him know I wasnt his rag doll anymore. I don't think I'll be hearing from him.

By the way they absolutely have a six sense for when to strike. I have seen it play out over and over. It's almost like my house is bugged its so spot on.

[/b]

Thanks to everyone who makes me laugh during this time.  I sprayed coffee on my monitor just now!


Title: Re: I have received a secret letter
Post by: Iwalk-Heruns on December 30, 2013, 09:10:29 AM
LOL! Laughter is the best medicine. That's for sure.


Title: Re: I have received a secret letter
Post by: nolisan on December 31, 2013, 12:51:36 AM
My former "planted" a book on a desk that I rarely used. It was a "witch craftish" book`called Clean Sweep (she is a Pagan witch btw). A page was bookmarked about how to grieve and banish a lost love: make a shrine with a picture of the lover and to pray and make offerings to ituntil the grieving was over.

I found the book about a month after she ran away. It felt like a time bomb planted by a terrorist going off. It was totally adacious and self-centered! I should make a shrine to HER ... .gag me with a spoon please!

I gave the book to a friend and said "get this out of my house". Months later, somewhat healing and now curious I asked for the book back. My friend had immediately thrown it in the garbage when she got home. She had seen the crap I had been through and saw no reason to prolong my memories.

It's good to have real and sane friends.