BPDFamily.com

I think my exUBPDgf was a hermit type. She liked to stay in. She would say she likes to keep a low profile. She read books a lot, just didn't like going out much. She would not rage in person, only in email or text.

Just trying to learn more about hermit traits. Tell me about your hermit.

Yeah, I never got an agro in person but got a lot of silent treatment or passive aggressiveness via txt. Asking her simple questions like "How did you job interview go?" resulted in days of silence, only to be told I was "demanding" if I asked her again. In person, She'd be so open & it was so bizarre.

She had no issue with making me feel that we were over via txt (multiple times) and making me grovel for forgiveness as I'd felt I'd done something to warrant it. I didn't think I had, but I was too afraid of losing her to assert myself.

She was a nightmare to do anything with. Making plans with her was almost impossible as if by some miracle she agreed to come out, I'd get cancelled upon last minute & if we rescheduled, we'd end up doing something totally different than the original plan. When we'd see each other again, she wouldn't mention it & if I did, she'd act upset and change the subject.

I looked very silly to my friends/family for putting up with it & if I told her it was unacceptable to keep doing it, she'd panic and do her best to stop me being the one to walk away. In the end it left me a complete wreck, as I had no idea what she wanted from me.

In general tho, she threw herself into her main hobby (Art) and seemed to spend most of her time at home painting/drawing.

"Tell me of your hermit Usul." Just popped into my brain. Weird. Dune/Arrakis makes a good metaphor for BPD in so many ways... .

Mine plays hermit sometimes. She was in hermit mode when I met her, having exited a short r/s with a guy who stole her car and then ended up in jail later for something else. That was the devaluing r/s after The One dumped her. In a sense, she was a hermit being used sexually.

She has a good degree of social anxiety as well, which is funny because she works with the public, and held a high profile retail management position before her current career. But they give her power and responsibility.

Her FB email also has the word,."hermit" in it. She feels comfortable around her family, but is very uncomfortanle around "white" people. I brought her to a small get together once and she.literally hid in the house. People were.trying to engage her and she later said it was "false" and ascribed ulterior motives to it. This was an engagement by a friend I've known.for over 20.years since childhood. I don't keep crappy friends. HermitX doesn't trust people (or men), is also paranoid and thinks everyone is a potential molester to our children (including me... . I fell like accusing her of emotional incest, because I sense a degree of that happened to her in her childhood, and we repeat patterns).

So when she is out, she looks fine at first glance but you can tell there is something going on underneath. My very first impression of her looking at her across the room was that she had some kind of social anxiety and didn't trust people. Everyone else was loosely grouped, and she was sitting cinspicuously away from everybody. I told her this much later and her reply was something like "I just like to watch.the.door and observe everybody in the room when I meet new people." Yes... . thank you for telling me I was right (I didn't say it outloud). So do I but I actually join the group so I can engage them in convo if necessary.

She has also called herself a queen, and she also is a Waif, with the Witch cycling now amd then too. I could probably write a dissertation on how layered she is, in combination to many contributing factors for her PDs.

Mine stayed in for a year. Lol

Well, she was on house arrest for DUIs... .