BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone and Happy New Year.

   I got a msg from my xBPDw on facebook today. To make a long story short, she has been on and off with a strange guy who has no life or job plus has drug addictions... . in fact she struggles with drugs herself. She has been back with me a couple times saying she wants help but never really made that "move" to recovery yet.

    Anyhow, she went back with him in November and she says in this msg to me that she feels awfull and she made a mistake and she says she will always feel terrible for leaving me. she even calls herself a piece of $&@!

     Is this just another emotional crisis or is she honestly realizing her mistake? And if so, why would she want to tell me if she knows I know it's a mistake? You follow me?

One word... . "Manipulation"

So that you can save her from the mess she created; again. And than she will do to you what she did to you before. Hurt you once more. Do not respond. Only future hurt awaits you. Hang in there.

This almost  reminds me of the love triangle in the movie Casino.  Do you see it.  De Niro trys to give everything Sharon Stone wants and no matter what, she always takes the sleazy drug dealing dirt bag back, even though she tells De Niro she is sorry and will change.

My .02 cents.  This situation is much more than just BPD in regards to safety.  I would distance myself from her and quick. 

I agree with the others, she is reaching out because she wants to manipulate OR she wants something from you.  I would ignore her, block her even.

Completely agree... . It's hard for all of us... . Do want you want but we all know the result.

Mine has used some pretty elaborate manipulation tactics. From telling me she is fixing to lose her house, car, etc. Granted she doesn't have a job, but that is not my fault.

And recently told me about a medical condition she had, that could be pretty bad. But its funny, it seems that condition rectified itself cause I haven't heard anything else about it lately. But at the time, I was the most uncaring person in the world because I wasn't checking in on her, seeing if she needed anything. I needed to watch her kids while she went to the hospital. No... . I don't, call my replacement(s)!

Games... .

777

Of course she is not able to realise it. If she was able to realise it so she wasn't a borderline and she was just a normal woman. This is nothing to do with you, if you were Mr x,y or z she would do the same. They are just users and change their colours whenever suits them.

Ignore, ignore and ignore it because that will make you guilty and shameful!

You're a vet Ken. This isn't new to you. Tell me what you want to hear. Do you think she's honestly realizing anything? The only meaningful thing that she could ever realize is that she's got a drug problem. That's the ONLY honesty that matters at this point.

Thanks you guys for the replies. I'll just stay away and see what happens... . I've seen this before. ( perhaps I had a small "what if" moment... )

Exactly!

She's definitely looking to manipulate you.

I can't imagine that she'd be attractive to you after being dug out by some drug addict for the past few months though. No thanks!

Tell her to find a good therapist and tell them her troubles.