BPDFamily.com

She's sleeping with other guys. Lying about it and I've been trying to reduce contact.

Just now I got a full length body photo by text of her wearing tight tights and tight low cut shirt in SF 49ers logos for the game this afternoon.

I want to text her back and say shouldn't this be going to other guy 1 or guy 2?  I can't let on that I know at this point but I wish I could!

Ignore it my friend... . I had sexual inuendos made to me to which I never responded... . its a game for attention and control. Mine made comments about her genitals and how she wanted sex then in the same call turned everything onto me about it all being my fault. Ignore and don't respond... . its hard I understand but its attention and that's what they crave

Do not respond, it is what she wants. Do not give her the control!

Text deleted :)

That felt good.

Good man! We are all in the same boat here... . keep posting and seek support when its needed

I was neutral on the game, but I'm rooting for the Packers now.

Lol  

Santa that was awesome.

Um I hate to state the obvious but why dont u block her number?

Recycled, I still have to converse with her and be on good terms while we are going through the legal separation process. So I just have to put a smile on my face and pretend all is ok all the while she is screwing other guys. Ugh. I hate having to be fake and nice while she is lying and cheating.

I don't block mine totally because the recycle attempts somehow give me some sort of deranged control myself. She's into day 4 of reaching out and now its just a matter of time till she goes cold again. Guess its that last little thread of hope that I'm clinging to.   Told her at the last breakup that she'll never see me again, at least I'm standing firm on that still.

Well, that's something that I haven't read or talked about in the just over 2 years since I've been divorced.  That was tough but I had to do it too because I also was going for sole custody of our (at the time) S11 and had to tread lightly since I HAD to assume she was being given advice by God knows who.  It turned out for the best for me but when I walked into the divorce proceedings, I was one hard, cold SOB.  I refused to shed one tear or show ANY sign of weakness.  By that time, I had endured so much that I was focused on just getting that crap over with.

Your time will come when you no longer have to play Mr. Goodguy and it might not feel all that great but at least it will be a relief to just be yourself.   

Your STRONG self.   Good luck getting through that mess.

Now, when it was all over and I was walking to my car, alone - all I felt was hollow.  No tears of sadness, no overwhelming feeling of freedom.   

Nothing. 

Just hollow.

Oh sorry man, that is a killer situation to be in, having to grin and bear it is no way to live... .

How long do you have to do that for?

As for you deleting the pic, good on you man.

I felt like doing that too blurry once upon a time... .

But the " going cold" as you say

The hurt and emptyness that brought,became unbearable, I had to close the door for once and for good, on my own terms, peace to you blurry.

Thanks recycled.  Probably another month until the legal separation paperwork is done with the court.  We have to cooperate because she could throw a big wrench in things if I'm not careful.  We're trying to do it all ourselves without attorneys to save money.  Twice now she's said she might go talk to an attorney.  I hope not, it'll just get more expensive and complicated. 

Yeah, deleting the pic felt good.  She texted me again this morning and my response was very brief.  This was after the past 2 months when she has ignored my attempts to reach out or was very short or angry when we talked.  Although, she did say she busy a lot of the time... . secretly out with other guys. (8 that I know of) UGH.

Proud of you for deleting that! You did exactly the right thing... will prob drive her nuts that you didn't respond and she will come on stronger. I learned that lesson last week... to stay the course and do NOT respond!

Thank you!  Yeah, I need to keep up being strong and I'm sure she'll try even harder next time.  She acted like it was such an inconvenience to her when I initiated all the contact the past 2 months months.  Now that I'm not, she's really trying.  Finally nice to understand the playbook a lot better so I don't fall for it.

Mine sent me a sexy photo one time from Vegas.  I thought it was sweet at the time.  Today, I wonder how many other people she sent it too... .  The further out I get the more disgusting I think she is.  They are all so different , yet the same. 

Here's an update.  The cycle just repeats and repeats doesn't it?

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=217167.0

I'm done with the nerves, the upset stomach, the drama.  No more.

In 'the green mile' the children are killed by using love against them, Each child is told the other will suffer if they do not comply.

Love should be what?

Giving of oneself, safe, not pain?

Full length portrait titilation... .

Domination

Changingman,

Exactly right.  The full length portrait was followed the next day by a "f--k you" laced text tirade for me once again not informing her when I find out someone else is pregnant and she finds out before I tell her.  Just more raging.

I'm starting to hate that I still have her inside me, I want rid of the stink/poison they leave. They know they are putting it in. They get frantic at the end, the final cuts, the real sadism exposed... .

Still not sure about forgiveness for them. Some things are.