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She called my mother again today, frantic (the same frantic as x mas eve).  She needed winter coats for my son.  I picked up jackets for my son at home and brought them to my mother's house.  Left.

I called her dad and told him that I didn't want to talk to her that I wanted no contact and I was no longer catering to any of his daughter's needs anymore.

I told him this back on x mas.  My mother reiterated it to her, as well.

Here's the deal:  Today she was yelling at my mom telling her that she didn't want to ever speak to me again that we can go through each other's parents to deal with my son.  And that that was her idea?  What the heck?  I know I don't need to ask this; but is she delusional?  I started NC with her 2+ weeks ago after I found her in my replacement's SUV xmas eve.

She also has already introduced our son to him after only 3 weeks... . Is this pretty normal?  Healthy? To introduce a son after a 3 weeks relationship?  She mentioned her boyfriend, and I know she is dumping him off every night and going to sleep by his house... . Does this sound like a guy that wants her and my son in his life?

Who cares, I can't wait how this effects my next few days

Arn

3 weeks is far too soon but of course she isn't mentally healthy.

I got introduced to my ex's son and family on the second date, after about 4 days knowing each other.

Arn, this is what would be happening to you. You would be facing this anger. This is the same anger that that she will turn on anybody close to her. You aren't there for her to dump her frustration on. Guess who is going to get this crap dumped right in their lap. Yep, the replacement. It works like that. You aren't there to take it out on so she is going to take it out on him. It most definitely works like that. It works that way because she has left her issues unresolved. This is highly destructive on new relationships. You should thank your mother, and I know you do, for mediating your son's right to both parents. It sure isn't fair to your mom but I bet the lady understands. More than likely the ex's new thing will fall apart. Please don't see this as hope. There is no amount of therapy or counseling that will stop this from becoming the worst experience you could possibly imagine. It never gets better. Only worse.

I know you know this and you gotta treat this woman the same way you treat alcohol. She's poison for you. 

Thanks, Perf.

I feel strong.  I feel like I am getting my power back.  I spoke to my mom today and she told me that I am not as angry as I normally was.  I started to cry because people can already see a change in me after 3 weeks, yet I cannot. I haven't even thought about a drink since I went NC.  Even during the darkest moments, no sir.  She can't control me anymore.

She has known for 2+ weeks that I don't want anything to do with her.  NOW it's all her idea.  She got extremely angry with my mom after hearing this again today.

Do you think it is settling in on her that she doesn't have control over me anymore?

My mom said she was talking in circles, contradicting herself with lies, and blaming me. 

Are these 2 week frantic calls to my mother a breach of my boundries with NC?

Or is she reaching out to her because she cannot get to me?

Thanks,

Arn

Really glad your doing better arn... . It drives them crazier when they don't hear from you. They are curious. For a while they'll take it out on anybody they can because you aren't there to be a whipping child. This will eventually fade but it is very destructive on new relationships. A lot of how you feel is the same way she feels. The anger. It will go away if you let it. You two together is the source of the anger. Each of you responsible for your own anger. You two are no good for each other the way you both are. It's not your fault. It's not her fault. It's you both together. She has issues. You have issues. It was explained to me like this... . You were both sick on the same day too many times. I'm sure you noticed the same thing in yourself. Being angry at whoever and then feeling bad about it because you were really angry at her or yourself. Misplaced anger. We do that. That's what she's doing to the new guy and that's why it stands a better chance of going belly up. I've also heard it called baggage. What ever you call it, it's got no place in a relationship and that is exactly why we should take time to heal and clean up our own back yards before entering into a new relationship. Borderlines don't get it. They are too much in a hurry because relationships mean survival to them. They can't afford to get well.

Good night arn. Ttyl

I told you this goddamn phone call was going to do something to get this inner turmoil going.

Now, since I found out that BPDs and NPDs form the perfect union, I did some internet research on NPD and I am OFFICIALLY a NPD because I was with my ex for 14 years!

... . and here we go... .

Well, waking up today, and it really isn't that bad.  I don't have NPD, I may have mirrored her NPD traits that accompanied her BPD; but I do have a genuine care and respect for other people and their feelings.  I don't lack empathy.

4 days before x mas (I knew about a replacement by then) she told my mother that she wanted a RS with me like my mother and father had after their divorce.  My mother/father were healthy people and got along well.  It was a "set up" to keep me around to see if her and joe millionaire didn't work out... . I KNOW THIS!

Immediately after hearing that, I told my mother/her father that I was done, and that I NEVER wanted to see her again, NC, no text, no nothing.  She didn't exist.  There would never be a relationship like my mother/my father had after their divorce.

Since then, with the help of all of you on this board, I have been strict NC and radio silence.

Last night my mother reminded her about me not wanting to have any kind of RS with her, I called her dad and reiterated that to him, as well... . She went off.  Got very angry, talked in circles, lied, and the list goes on and on.  Even made it sound like the whole NC, no relationship, no anything in the future was her idea (that one made me laugh), maybe mirroring?  Her house of cards built on sand is falling apart, and I know it.  Maybe things aren't that great with Joe Millionaire and she had to find ANY excuse to call us... . ?

I know she still cares bc she is angry, I know she didn't take time and heal from a 14 year RS with me and put a band aid on her deep wounds with Joe Millionaire, I know she is bringing all this dysfunction with  her, I know this is how it will be no matter what face she tries to portray to the public or him, I know she is sick now and I DO feel bad for her, but I also know, and best of all... .

I really don't care anymore... .

thank you everyone for the past 3 weeks... . I needed you guys like never before, but the show must go on... .