BPDFamily.com

A long time friend of mine got wrapped up with a BPD woman a few years ago.  It wasn't a long affair, only a few months.  But long enough to mess him up.  Anyway, he has about 2 years no contact.  He is now happily married with a baby on the way.  Last week, out of the blue, he got an email from her.  Here is the email: 

"Hey"

That's it.  What do you all think?  Bait?  Just being friendly?  Recycle attempt?  Seeking validation?   My friend did not reply. 

Interesting... . just wanted to run it by you folks :-)

Fiddlestix

***RED ALERT***

That is a very possible bait being sent your friends way to test the water to see if he responds, and how he responds as well. A precursor to the re engagement attempt. Tell him not to respond at all.

Ironman, that is absolutely motherhiting hilariuos... . I don't care who you are

The core of borderline personality disorder is a fear of abandonment, so a borderline has an extremely difficult time letting go of any attachment.  This difficulty is subconscious and was formed when she was preverbal, so she isn't aware of it consciously and couldn't put it into words, it's just a drive, a need, so strong in fact, being the core of the disorder, that she will delete facts and warp the truth to accommodate the drive.  Looked at in that light it makes total sense, but trying to reconcile it in our reality will drive us crazy.

Thank you, all, for the quick feedback.  My friend has not responded.  But the email did shake him up, and surprise him.  He says his ex BPDgf practiced the "catch and release program."  She "released" him two years ago.  It looks like she may try to "catch" him again. 

Fiddle

I totally agree with this! ^^^^

If I thought that an appropriate message to send to an ex of two years ago was "Hey"... . I'd have to concede that I was acting pretty weird!

After two years of not communicating who the hell would think   "Hey"   was a worthwhile, sincere or mature way of opening communication again.

She's obviously as demented as she ever was & the last two years have offered her little to no introspect!

Well said Moonie. It shows how the pwBPD has not really detached themselves with the thought process of sending a "Hey" as if communication had never ceased over the entire 2 year period. Sad and maddening at the same time. It was not that all different from when my exUBPDgf reached out to me after 3 months of NC and in her text, anyone else not knowing of the situation, would assume she had been in regular contact with me the entire time.

Exactly.

It's a "Hey" mask. Like the "How are you" and "F*ck you" masks I've been shown.

It's not Halloween. No doors have to open.

No more candy here, move along.