BPDFamily.com

The more i read here, the more my exuBPDgf seems like a monster!

Mine is mean, the smear campaign is spectacular! She twist every things around,

making me pass as the violent one, the cheating one, the list goes on and on... .

Though, I'm the one that is completely demolish, depress. Is she npd to ?

I don't doubt that she is a monster. Mine sure is.

Your take on that is understandable. Her behavior, though, is what is monstrous. I called my exUBPDgf a "monster" when i experienced her RAGE at me when she discarded me in round 1. This was even before i knew anything about her BPD. When she came back to me in round 2, she threw it in my face that i "hurt her" by calling her such a name. Sure. I felt awful afterwards for calling her that; but it was not without reason. Her behavior, in round 2 devaluation, made the monstrous behavior i experienced in round 1, tame by comparison. I know you are hurting. She may have N traits. May even be comorbid with NPD. A hellish combination. Hang in there.  

It's just how it is. You two weren't a match.

Oh, and I should tell you... . She ain't "yours" never was.

I'm pretty sure all this crisp is a wonderful illusion. A fantasy. One the has the power to emasculate us. Wanna be emasculated?

Trying my best not to, hard to get my head around all this!

I know things will get better, but the thoughts are coming back as soon as I'm doing better, or think i am  :'(

I think you're onto something with the emasculating. They want to be in control. They need to be in control. And they can't do that without damaging your psyche/confidence/pride. It's just a constant battle for supremacy... . and since you don't realize that's what's going on right away, they've already got you where they want you by the time you figure out what they're doing.

It will only get better if you let it.

My boons have shrunk since the estrogen has been reduced. :)

But, honestly, Perf... . noone will be her match.  Or a match for her... . Get my drift?

She wasn't mine, i get this , but it felt like it

arn! How you been, its nechhi, i can only reply on my post (got suspended) they put me on a time off!

Been good... .

Is that what happens when you go back for another recycle... . suspension?

Naughty naughty necchi 

Nope, no recycle in the past 6 months,and that one was the last.

just got to loose the reoccurring memories! Its obsessive and hurtful.

I refer to her as Demon. A malviolent Spirit that means to cause harm or destruction to people/things in it's path. Or lead people/persons through the path of wrong doing.

I'm not religious

I fought all the way through, but was no match for her pathology. I stopped most of the obvious abuse, but this is bigger s*** than I could believe.

When she first hit me, full fist in the face, she was tall and athletic, I hit her back instinctively. She fell over and went into victim mode. I started packing, only time I've ever hit a woman. She stopped me leaving. If I hadn't done it I'm guessing it would have been a regular feature of our RS.

Stopped her going on holiday with her affair, ( it's a work thing )

She raged like I was her father, tipped a table of her booze over me, She's 32.

':)on't ever talk to me like that again, I MEAN IT' she just got revenge against me behind my back.

Many others worst, me defending.

She saw any defence from her abuse as abusive to her

I can see her joy as she got one over me, a sadist.

We could have parted amicably, I talked about it to her a few times, quietly and sensibly, no punishment, kindly. She always said she didn't want to and we went on me thinking we were headed somewhere. Lies and deception, everyone else making problems for her, it seemed so plausible.

No kindness, responsibility, she knew what she was doing... . hiding.

Demons walk amongst us.

I've realised I've had a very sweet naivety about the world, wanting good. I'd cut of very negative dark feelings about others and in me. This has left me vulnerable to abuse.

No more discribbing filthy things with kind words.

A Demon

I relate to this 100%!

how do you see future relations ? I just cant see myself trusting anyone... . seems like always been abused in my relationship

I'm i the only one that see the cheating the worst thing even after all the abuse?

i know this is not normal

Demons,

Marino,

All the love to you, I feel it. Maybe time to look where you dare not look. How's mum and dad? I'm not being S****, I've had too.

Are you safe?

Mom was abusing, histrionic, dad left... .

I'm doing my best to be safe. Thank

Love to you brother