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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Turkish on January 13, 2014, 03:34:40 PM



Title: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Turkish on January 13, 2014, 03:34:40 PM
... . and realized that she was a crappy tenant. I realize the r/s complicates the issue, but:

1. Has Their Rent Ever Been Late? (um... . in addition to "rent" not being paid in the past 5 months, getting free utilities and most of the groceries?)

2. Did Applicant ever interfere with the rights and livability of other tenants (um... . )

3. Did the Applicant ever give you false information (well... . )

4. Would you re-rent to this Applicant? (NWIH!)

On the General Comments section, I resisted the urge to write, "Please, for the love of all that is holy, TAKE HER!"

At least it's not a legal document, so I'm not lying... . but even wrapped up in this, I'm still a co-dependent enabler.



Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: GaGrl on January 13, 2014, 03:45:24 PM
Sometimes you just have to think about the Greater Good -- in this case, YOURS.


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Turkish on January 13, 2014, 03:55:29 PM
Sometimes you just have to think about the Greater Good -- in this case, YOURS.

Yes.  which is why when I  abandon my old FB  page and not refriend  any of her family and friends in my new one (not that I had a problem with any of them, I  just need theraputic separation), I  may not post any farewell message hinting at the heel

mental hell and subtle cruelty I've endured the past four months.  just sign off and that is that.  her future actions will tell the story anyway for anyone who would care.  several of my friends want me to slam the heck out of her,  but the greater good is our kids and our future r/s.


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: santa on January 13, 2014, 04:12:51 PM
Just set her up with the INS and get her deported already so she'll stop bothering people.  :)


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Conundrum on January 13, 2014, 04:22:58 PM
There's always a weird trade-off. I recently kicked her off of my PO Box and re-keyed it. Now I'm going to be stuck forwarding her mail until infinity and beyond--or at least until she gets around to changing her mailing address with all her creditors and the various criminal courts throughout the state. When you have someone listed on your PO Box, USPS won't forward their mail when you remove them from it. The greater-good is she won't be able to steal my mail or identity (kinda joking, though she is a criminal, albeit a haphazard one), but primarily sorting through each other's mail was being way too connected. It's friggin annoying as all though that I'm still stuck forwarding her mail.     


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: sun seeker on January 13, 2014, 04:38:18 PM
   Wow... . couldn't imagine having to say something to help my exBPDgf. But hey if it gets her out I couldn't right fast enough. ... .


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Turkish on January 13, 2014, 05:00:51 PM
Just set her up with the INS and get her deported already so she'll stop bothering people.  :)

she's been legal for years... .   in a scary period between her gc  expiration and citizenship process,  she was hinting that if she had to go back,  she would take S  with her since a sin should be with his mother.  scared the Crap out of me and yes, I  was ready to pounce on that one should it have looked like that was going to happen.  luckily,  it went smoothly.


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Turkish on January 13, 2014, 05:03:02 PM
There's always a weird trade-off. I recently kicked her off of my PO Box and re-keyed it. Now I'm going to be stuck forwarding her mail until infinity and beyond--or at least until she gets around to changing her mailing address with all her creditors and the various criminal courts throughout the state. When you have someone listed on your PO Box, USPS won't forward their mail when you remove them from it. The greater-good is she won't be able to steal my mail or identity (kinda joking, though she is a criminal, albeit a haphazard one), but primarily sorting through each other's mail was being way too connected. It's friggin annoying as all though that I'm still stuck forwarding her mail.     

if she's so incompetent that she can't fool it a simple change of address form,  went not " return to sender,  no longer at this address"  on each piece of mail?


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Turkish on January 13, 2014, 05:07:07 PM
I  dropped off the retainer check and contact with the lawyer... .   I  feel like some weight off my heart now that the process is started  officially,  but the under the table stuff she wanted to pull. I  guess to my credit, I  finally " convinced"  her to agree though I didn't have to.  she thinks she's so smart,  but really isn't.  By keeping things relatively peaceful and conflict free, I  get to lead on this...   ( fingers crossed,  prayers said). now onto my financial planning  to survive the coming years... .  


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Conundrum on January 13, 2014, 05:13:54 PM
if she's so incompetent that she can't fool it a simple change of address form,  went not " return to sender,  no longer at this address"  on each piece of mail?

It's weird, USPS won't honor a change of address form from a PO Box that the person isn't the primary on. She has to contact all the people and institutions she gets mail from, and individually inform them of her new mailing address.


Title: Re: Filled Out Landlord Reference For Her...
Post by: Turkish on January 13, 2014, 06:11:43 PM
if she's so incompetent that she can't fool it a simple change of address form,  went not " return to sender,  no longer at this address"  on each piece of mail?

It's weird, USPS won't honor a change of address form from a PO Box that the person isn't the primary on. She has to contact all the people and institutions she gets mail from, and individually inform them of her new mailing address.

maybe I  miss it,  but what obligates  you too do anything with her mail other than toss it?