BPDFamily.com

I've spent most of my time on this site over on the leaving board, so forgive me if I seem out of the loop on this board. Really need advice, though.

Was NC for about 5 months after the break up. She started dating again after 1, which is when I decided to move on with my life the best I could.

Come December I got a voicemail from her, but I immediately blocked the number. To protect myself. But a few days ago I got weak, and checked my blocked numbers, and sure enough there were multiple late night drunk texts sprinkled throughout December. Most saying she wasn't over me, still had feelings, she was sorry etc...

Basically this translated to me as "new r/s didn't work out, I'm drunk and lonely" and I was right.

I called her yesterday, hoping to reconcile and possibly be friends, but I got a ton of mixed signals.When I asked her to get together and catch up, she accused me of just wanting sex and told me that I was a sex addict. Which is far from the truth.

But after we got off the phone, she Texted me, saying she was sorry for being rude, and that I seemed different. We made plans for Sunday and agreed on putting the past in the past.

But the conversation just left me even more confused. What have I gotten myself into here? Is it possible to be friends, is that even what she wants?I'm trying to remain objective here, but it isn't working. I would appreciate any of your opinions.

My advice:  try to remember the reasons you broke up in the first place.   Try to remember the rocky nature of the relationship with a pwBPD.  Have any of your issues or her issues changed in the last few months? 

I'm thinking if you want to resume a relationship as friends or dating partners, now may be a good time to establish a few boundaries in order better deal with the inevitable future chaos.

BTW.  I'm at a stage with my GF where she will immediately apologize for hurtful things she says or did.  I thought I would be okay with that, but the reality is the damage is already done.  How did you feel when she accused you of being a sex addict or only wanting her for sex?  And did her apology help you with those feelings, or is the resentment still there?

I've worked on myself quite a bit, and have made some really good progress over the past few months. As far as her issues changing, I have no idea. It seems from the conversation that she still doesn't trust me, and it just ultimately felt like more game playing/power struggle.

Honestly, it hurt, and really caught me off guard. Why is she even talking to me, agreeing to hang out if she doesn't trust me? To go from "you just want to sleep with me!" To "I'm really sorry :/" the first time we talk after 5 months is just confusing.