BPDFamily.com

Everybody ready for another weekend. Seems to be the hardest days of the week if you're still feeling attached. Mine are getting easier I think. However; in the past couple days I've been getting some texts from the exgf.

One of her texts ended with this "I am just saying I have tried to talk and all I get in return is nothing. I must not be good enough. Well I am trying... . why don't you try and see how it goes it may shock you some... . "

By "trying" she is referring to being friends, and me checking on her to see how she is since she is in such dire straits financially... .

Sounds like she blew up yet another relationship... .

Is this really someone you'd want to be friends with though?

Friends make your life better. You enjoy your friends.

This person makes your skin crawl.

If you think of her as a love interest, maybe it's worth a little grief. But just friends? Why bother with all her drama just to be pals? Friends don't put their friends' lives in turmoil. That's not a friend.

If there is a financial situation, deal with it however you deem necessary. If that situation is just you giving her more money though, it's probably not something that would benefit you.

No, no, no... . shes not getting any of my money, or my friendship. I just found it amusing how she is now upped her frequency of text messages... . Love interest... . hell no!

LOL

She's flustered because you're not giving her any attention. Maybe she'll learn something about how to treat people.  :) :) :)

Why are you still reading her texts if you're not going to be friends with her?

What are you getting out of it?

Wouldn't it be better to leave that in the past?

Myself

Yes I should change my number... . next on my list. But I kinda get a laugh out of some of them.

But you are correct... thanks.

Is it OK that I miss her intensely specially weekends and that I wish she'd contact me just as a hint I'm still in her mind?

Weak backwards thoughts... .

Don't mind me

MellowOddFellow,

I have those thoughts, too!  It sucks and just tells me I have some internal work to do. 

I have those same thoughts. I'm so lonely and scared on Friday nights, I feel so isolated. Going out with friends really isn't an option because I work for part of the evening, but I think about my ex a LOT because this was the night when she usually came into the city to stay with me.

When I went NC, I dutifully blocked all electronic contact. I *know* I don't have the self-will to keep myself from responding to her, so it's for the best. But I wonder if she's trying to message me and I think about those messages going into the Big NC Black Hole.

Yes, I know, I don't need to see them. But a part of me wonders about it. It hurts so much... .

Weekends are *hard*, eh?

Kai,

It sucks for sure, I know. It's difficult, pain in your heart like a knife. But, you think wherever she is that she feels the same... . doubtful. I'm a religious person and I don't like the thoughts I have sometimes... . one is to see her new relationship blow up... . I may never know. But I know it will happen. It's part of their script.

Ya, I kinda want mine to contact me. She isn't. And I think she isn't cause she wants me to wonder what she is doing... . she wants the control. DO NOT give her the control... . make her wonder why you aren't pining after her... . leave her guessing... . do it man!

The weekends suck the most. Work all week to come home to an empty house. I've been thinking about her, but not as much. Where do I go from here? What is the cure for loneliness, accepting it or being with someone else? I'm detaching from someone I loved, so I can put the pieces of myself together. She might be wondering why I'm not contacting her, but she might not care. It's a relief to not be dancing on eggshells but I still miss her sometimes. The moments of sweetness in the eye of the hurricane.

She can have her new life of the same old patterns. I'm changing mine.

Myself

Your last sentence... . repeat it over and over... .

That last line is what I was repeating to myself at the gym tonight even before I read it here.  This is where I choose to live my true self and change my life forever.  Hard to deal with in the moment, now, and at the same time filled with such hope and energy!

Loneliness hurts, maybe Because She was my last "friend"

Try going out even alone it will help. Thats what i Tell myself. Not seeing results yet but holding on.  The craves for her are crazy even more so now because I know better.

Hope in a couple months I won't be talking to myself as much. 

Hang in there Mellow. We're hear for ya!