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Title: Get some dam sleep Post by: sun seeker on January 19, 2014, 07:54:59 AM I've realized that when im up late ruminating about my r/s it makes my tomorrow so much worse, I'm tired, irritable , not wanting to get out of bed, the day seems to draaaaag... . my co workers started to say man you look like SH@T.(LACK OF SLEEP) I have to be up at 5 a.m. for work, i am tradesmen. My job is very dangerous. When my mind races about this subject while in bed I say to myself " THINK ABOUT THIS TOMORROW" or "NOT NOW" over and over(i stole not now from another post but it helps). Saying these words can help anytime of day. I found that im am in much better spirits when I awake. I feel energized like im ready to take on the world. I get out of bed without a second thought, i handle my business much better. Yeah the thoughts are still thier but I feel better.(feeling better even the slightest bit is huge) The proper amount of sleep can do wonders for the healing process. I am sleeping with out the help of sleep aids now. And im feeling better every day. Getting closer to absolute peace *) *) *).
Title: Re: Get some dam sleep Post by: Moonie75 on January 19, 2014, 08:08:00 AM I get this totally.
When I get into bed I find myself having hypothetical conversations with her! And they're different every night too! Lay alone in bed at night when I need to sleep, having imaginary conversations with a woman who's somewhere else, probably on 2nd or 3rd position of the night! It's like mind cancer! Title: Re: Get some dam sleep Post by: sun seeker on January 19, 2014, 08:18:18 AM Moonie
Man I know them conversations all to well. I catch myself doing it all the time. They are starting to slow down with time. Feel like im bonkers at times! Guess we couldnt stay off this board for to long huh. Lol Title: Re: Get some dam sleep Post by: delusionalxox on January 19, 2014, 09:06:32 AM Me too with the ruminations and hypothetical conversations.
So much of my energy devoted to him even though I am 'NC'... . why? He wasn't worth it. I find often I think I am ok and ready for bed and when the light goes out I get overwhelmed with sorrow and start to cry. This happened last night about 3am. Sigh. I am working at home at the moment and can sleep in but teaching term starts next week, it's gonna hurt! Title: Re: Get some dam sleep Post by: charred on January 19, 2014, 09:49:11 AM Read up on Mindfulness, there are resources on the web... it is the cure for ruminating. My stress level went from so intense I had nervous welts and was seeing a doctor... . to so low I didn't need ADHD meds most the time... from actively practicing mindfulness... learning to stay in the moment and not ruminate about past or fret about future.
Before that... . would replay everything and torture myself endlessly. You have been through enough, learn to stop it and enjoy the moment. Title: Re: Get some dam sleep Post by: myself on January 19, 2014, 10:53:16 AM Some of the best conversations I had with her were when she wasn't in them. It was a way to process and say what I needed to say, to feel the feelings. I asked questions she wouldn't want to hear, but answered them myself. I found my own truth. Lost sleep but faced the past. It helped me move on. If I keep looking backwards it slows me down. She's not here. She's not even really there. She's like a ghost.
Title: Re: Get some dam sleep Post by: santa on January 19, 2014, 11:00:23 PM I used to have this problem. Especially with the "hypothetical conversations". I think this is one huge benefit I'm getting from going no contact. You don't have to worry about what you might say when you know you're not going to be saying anything.
You've just got to make yourself understand that there are no "magic words" that are going to make everything all of a sudden "ok" again. |