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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: magichat101 on January 19, 2014, 02:30:32 PM



Title: The day has arrived
Post by: magichat101 on January 19, 2014, 02:30:32 PM
So last night at around 1:30 am I received about 6 calls from my exBdGf. I have not spoken to her in 6 months. Anyways I was out and obviously did not want to answer and she left a voicemail saying " I know this might be inappropriate but this is my way of reaching out, I hope you're doing well, please call me". Didn't really think anything of it, thought she was just drinking. So I go to bed and wake up at 10 am with 5 more missed calls from her and another voicemail, and it says " fine I understand, I will never call you again!". 10 minutes later she called me on skype... .

I am in a hard place because logically I know I should not respond but it's very hard. I thought about being honest with her and just saying, listen you break my heart every time, kind of a thing. But then I thought that will just open it up to my communication so I thought the best thing is to not respond... .

My fear is, is that if I don't respond then she will be mad at me and never communicate with me... .

I'm so conflicted and confused... . Help me... .


Title: Re: The day has arrived
Post by: Perfidy on January 19, 2014, 02:46:25 PM
The magic question. What do you want?


Title: Re: The day has arrived
Post by: fromheeltoheal on January 19, 2014, 02:48:27 PM
Yep, that's pretty confused. Time to make a decision, a real one. If you want to be with her, knowing everything you know, then go there. If not, don't. If all those calls are bothering you, send a text something like "please do not contact me again", that's it.


Title: Re: The day has arrived
Post by: love4meNOTu on January 19, 2014, 02:54:30 PM
My guess would be she is reaching out because she needs something. Validation, that she still has a hold over you, needs "something".

Are you prepared to give her those things?

I don't know what I would do in your situation, I don't know if I could open the door again. There is so much pain I know my relationship could not be resurrected.

L


Title: Re: The day has arrived
Post by: myself on January 19, 2014, 03:00:46 PM
I thought the best thing is to not respond... .

My fear is, is that if I don't respond then she will be mad at me and never communicate with me... .

Why open yourself to more pain?

If she stops contacting you, you'll heal faster.

That sounds like a blessing without much disguise.

If you're done, you're done. Keep moving forward.



Title: Re: The day has arrived
Post by: State85 on January 19, 2014, 03:03:40 PM
Don't give her the power. You're worried she'll get mad and never contact you again? Really. Your post says she said fine I'll never contact you again, and then she did.

C'mon man! She will. Don't fall for this crap... . unless you want to be in it again... .


Title: Re: The day has arrived
Post by: Monarch Butterfly on January 19, 2014, 06:49:35 PM
Why are you afraid that she will never contact you again? What do you still hold on to?