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Title: almost broke NC after months 6 months today Post by: geesunday on January 24, 2014, 06:54:24 AM Shorts summary--Was with ex gf for 1 1/2 years, broke up, stayed "friends" for about 3 months and went NC when she moved in with another guy about 6 months ago.
I didnt think about her until about a month ago when I became very angry thinking about what the relationship had done to my life, which I've managed to put back together. I feel emotionally about as strong as I was when I first met her and for some reason I've been thinking of contacting her to say I have no hard feelings. But I've been thinking about this and part of it is that Im having a hard time remembering the stress and pain she put me through and I keep thinking if I talk to her for a bit I'll remember what it was about her that I couldn't handle anymore. I thought I had closure and was over everything. I know I dont want to be in a relationship with her again and as I said, my life is in a good place now but I find myself idealizing the the times where she would meltdown and need to me to rescue her, though at the time I remember I used to wish I could get away from her. I was the one who cut off contact with her and I know she wont ever contact me unless I initiate it. Im not sure why Im trying to relive the very bad parts or seeking them out just to convince myself that I did the right thing by moving on because I know, in my mind that I did the right thing to save myself. |