BPDFamily.com

I took on a job where I deal with a lot of collegestudents who have diagnosed disabilities, ranging from.mental.illness to physical disabilities. The mentally ill are going to make me tear my hair out! How do you deal with them when you know your job requires you to "be nice to the customer"?

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.  They better be clear and strong, thought out ahead and even practiced.  People with those issues will give you a run for your money every time but if you are able to cut them off at the pass with a very clear boundary (you don't have to be mean or rude just clear) many times they will back down.  If the person you're dealing with has a meltdown because you don't allow the craziness to get you (appeasing, things like that) then so be it.  Get the support of those you work with too.  If someone is really off the chain don't ever be alone with them.

just some thoughts

I work with the mentally ill at my job.  I think it is easier than dealing with a family member that has a mental illness.  At work I have a position of authority and the rules and expectations are clear.  Also at the end of the day, I get to go home.

I agree w rebl.brown.

I have worked w a lot of BPD patients upset that their insurance will not approve a mental health hospitalization. When all resources have been exhausted and the decision is final, I find they usually go through stages of upset/grieving. 1. Denial, 2. Negotiation via sympathy, 3. Negotiation via anger/hysteria. Then, it is only when i am off the phone with them and it has time to sink in: 4. Depression. 5. Acceptance. (I know these final stages since i have also been on the other side of the phone call sitting with them.)  


I have a sort of script in my head that i default to and modify as needed:

"I am very sorry that you feel hit_. Unfortunately, THIS DECISION IS FINAL. NOTHING THAT YOU CAN SAY OR HAVE SAID is going to change the outcome of hit__ but you do have my sympathy that you think this is unfair. We have been talking for hit_ minutes. I have to terminate this conversation now so that i can try and help the other people waiting."

They will usually then become irate at this limit setting so i let them vent one more time (if needed.) Then follow up with:

"I'm sorry, but again, that there is nothing more that can be done here and now we are talking in circles. Thank you for understanding that I must continue to help the others waiting and that i have hang up now and I hope that you are able to follow up with your therapist as soon as possible since i know this has been a very hard situation for you. "


S/he will probably try and continue to negotiate to change the outcome, but since i've already set the limits, i do hang up now. If i didn't, this cycle could go on indefinitely.        

I highly recommend the book called "The Customer Service Survival Guide." It helps apply concepts like DBT to customer interactions so that you can be firm while still providing good customer service. I needed that once or twice working at a call center. Good luck.

PleaseValidate:  I know it's been a month or so since you posted on this, but your last post really hit home.  I had a customer on the phone for over 2.5 hours Friday evening.  I never hang up on a customer, but in this case I did your script almost verbatim (not having seen it until just now) and I eventually terminated the call.

I ruminated about that call all weekend, but seeing your script afterwards has helped me realize I probably handled it correctly.  Thank you!

Thank you, appleman, for your feedback! I always like knowing when my experiences help someone.  :)

I am also in awe of your 2.5 hours of tenacity.