BPDFamily.com

I sit here in Moonie towers, fidgety, restless, my bored fingers drumming on the arm of my chair. There's a fantastic array of ports & cheeses in the kitchen. There's my beloved brandy in the crystal decanter. There's cigarettes on the table. There's a huge, incredibly huge collection of vintage 50's & 60's vinyl (twenty five years worth of collecting). There's a beautiful vintage 1968 Ludwig drum kit here too. A vintage Gibson SG guitar, & suitably aged & patina'd Vox AC30 valve amp! There's even a 1970 Rockola jukebox to run the vinyl. It's aged valves take a while to warm up but once ready, it delivers that music to the room with the sweetest sound you ever heard!

There's a huge space in front of the drums, the hard floor softened by gorgeous Persian rug. Slightly psychedelic & soothing on the eye, it warms the visual tone of the entire space. There's huge cushions that can be piled onto the rug. They transform the rug into a huge bed!

By the window & opposite from the wall of vinyl records, I sit in one of a pair of nicely aged brown leather chairs. Alone, like road of toad hall! Outside the window its a clear night, millions of stars out showing of beautiful wonder of a rural English night sky!

This space is romantic. It's sexy. It's soulful. It's relaxing. It's interesting. It evokes passion. It wants you to explore yourself. It wants you to forget yourself. It wants to take you somewhere! It's as dangerous as it is beautiful.

I'm fully tooled up for the ULTIMATE night in!



Oh god how much I need a borderline woman here! For one night, just one! For a night of wreckless abandon!

This space isn't the same without a sexy, wild woman!


Moonie :'(

Hey Keith,

Get of of that cloud,

paint it black.

No sympathy for the devil

Daddy you're a fool

Shine a light

You can't always get why you want

Changingman

You could call Borderlines For Rent; I hear they come with handcuffs and a Bible... .

Handcuffs is cool! No bible though, I don't do god botherer stuff! 

Mmmmmm. How can a space you love so much, feel so empty when you're in it?

Morning Moonie... . I hope you survived the night? 

I love your place!  It sounds like paradise to me, you paint such a vivid picture! 

I think the thing you may be missing here is that there are sexy, exciting lovely women in the world who won't come in and wreck your life as the price for fun and a bit of wildness... .

Perhaps you should put out a call for one, you never know, you might get what you wish for.

|iiii  Janey xx

Yes Janey I survived the night. I haven't been to bed actually!

You speak with wisdom!

Hi Moonie,  Phew!  I think you were in a dangerous place last night, but you know that!  Glad you made it.

I was just reading another thread on this board (see Jayhawk21), things can always be different in this game.  It seems we have a daily/nightly challenge to stay one step ahead of the madness that is in us, around us and ever present.

I'm expecting my uBPDbf to come round here this morning to collect some of his stuff.  He may or may not show.  Part of his thing at the moment because he knows he's losing me is to try to control me by withholding himself, saying he's coming then not showing. 

I am stuck here for the next couple of weeks, waiting to get away and start my new beginning without him, and in the meantime have to try not to get caught in his games.  Part of me so wants to just fall into his arms and have the sweet relief of a couple of days of love and comfort but the price of that is a world of pain and suffering!

The trouble is, people with BPD are quite alluring and very attractive... . I know I never felt so alive, but I also have never felt so close to the abyss. 

Hang in there and play your records on your own.  It won't be like that forever.

xx Janey 

Thank you Janey

I don't envy your day at all, if you have to face your ex.

I know exactly what you mean about the conflicting emotions... . Feeling so alive, and also half dead!

You look after yourself today lady!

Moonie Xx

Home is where the heart hurt is, sadly. This would have been the place which they graced, where they sat, where they sang, where they showered. I haven't really made enough effort to erode every trace of that. Objects, wow, we collect so many of them in life and sometimes we rarely use them, or we may just forget about them. But these that the BPDs gifted or used, they have that strange significance. It's definitely shaped to my life and my tastes - it was always my apartment, she lived in another country - but she was here. Sadly, my door is never open for her again! We like to think that our homes are places where others - friends and lovers - can come and enjoy and be part of and love. It's very sad when we have them all to ourselves, they're chambers to ponder in, locking out night and keeping out light.