BPDFamily.com

This came up in another thread and I thought it would be great to discuss.  My ex painted his evil witch mother white and could not even tolerate me saying anything bad about her, even if it was worded very delicately.  He would rage an hang up. 

Anyone else found anything similar?

My ex runs his brother down really nastily but if I dared comment or if he took something I tactfully said the wrong way the rage was awful. I found him incredibly critical of others but I was always put down if he felt I was in any way. Totally weird!

Mine's mother was a real piece of work... . manipulative but played the innocent victim.  Father lived halfway across the world to look after his ailing mother so voldemort was supporting the family financially (ego boost for the narc).  The mother herself has some major mental issues... . she has previously been "exorcised"... . I think a few evil spirits didn't leave the building though.

Result was ex was the smothered favourite child (as has always been the case) who has been almost worshipped by his family.  I have occasionally read that BPD can develop from excess love and attention... . would also explain his weird ego (even though he has low self esteem and self punishing tendencies) and sense of entitlement.

Mine had two kids, and they were always painted pristine white.  But she was the only one that could say anything critical on her kids.  If I as much as opened my mouth and said anything critical (even agreeing with her when one of the kids got in trouble once) she would rage at me worse than almost anything else I could do (and apparently I did a lot bad :)

yes, this is very familiar.

To be fair - nobody wants to hear bad stuff about their family.  For a pwBPD who has an unstable sense of self, those remarks are going to be very, very personal - I learned that lesson the hard way myself.

Let's be really honest on this - a pwBPD parents - if they don't tolerate the abuse and have real boundaries, that will look abusive to the BPD and they likely are not close.  If they do tolerate the abuse,they likely have an entire trunk of their own baggage they bring to the party, right?  No win for the family either.

Peace,

SB

Mine would actually not even see anything wrong with his mother... . at all.  Even when I told him that she told me to lose weight before the wedding otherwise everyone will laugh at her son (the evil witch), he explained it away with it's just the way she and her family are... . they say what they think.  Nothing his family did was ever wrong.  Even he wouldn't admit anything.  I sometimes think it may be because deep down he knows just how dysfunctional his family really are.

Arg, the ex hated his mother with a passion... .

She killed her own abusive father when the ex was a baby, she had 8 kids to 3 different men, abused by exs father, abused all her children, hed tell her to F off, F up, F u B, in front of anyone, she was also a compulsive gambler, he explained that she spent all their money on horses and pokies( slot machines?) , their family nickname for her was predator... .

Btw, hed criticize her to me till the cows came home, but if I said even the slightest thing against her, god help me... .

He had no trouble slaggin of my mum though... .

To me, my ex would often talk about how horrible her father was when she was growing up.  To his face she was the "perfect daughter".  She even called him ":)addy", and this is a 34 year old woman.  It was really weird and pretty gross. 

I only made one comment about him ever and it was not well received.