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Title: Getting help when you need it. Post by: Mutt on January 30, 2014, 12:24:06 PM Reflecting back in the last few years, the one theme that I can see about myself that I wish that I had done differently, is not reaching out for help. I consciously knew that there was a problem, but not one that I could put my finger on. I had a "laisser-faire" attitude about it, maybe cognitive dissonance, but I had always thought "things will get better" "things will work out" "we'll turn a corner". I didn't know anything about BPD, how was I suppose to know, but I know "something".
Maybe it was FOG, but I knew that there some serious tremors in the foundation of the relationship that where not going to go away on their own. A more proactive approach in reaching out, being honest / open and not be worried about shame and reach out and get help from a proffesional. Title: Re: Getting help when you need it. Post by: seeking balance on January 30, 2014, 02:38:40 PM Hey Mutt,
I can appreciate this too. The thing is, we do the best we can with what we know - hindsight usually is 20/20. Can you forgive yourself? What does that look like? SB Title: Re: Getting help when you need it. Post by: Mutt on January 30, 2014, 03:04:25 PM Hey Mutt, I can appreciate this too. The thing is, we do the best we can with what we know - hindsight usually is 20/20. Can you forgive yourself? What does that look like? SB Your correct and I can forgive myself. I did the best that I could with what I knew at the time and I tried hard. That's all that I can do :) Title: Re: Getting help when you need it. Post by: Perfidy on January 30, 2014, 06:04:10 PM It wouldn't have mattered. There was nothing that could have been done. It would have been miserable no matter what you did because you didn't have any control over anything and there is no way for you to have that kind of control. You did as much as anyone could have and possibly more. Here's to a better future. |iiii
Title: Re: Getting help when you need it. Post by: Mutt on January 30, 2014, 10:10:36 PM It wouldn't have mattered. There was nothing that could have been done. It would have been miserable no matter what you did because you didn't have any control over anything and there is no way for you to have that kind of control. You did as much as anyone could have and possibly more. Here's to a better future. |iiii Thank you Perdify, I needed to be reminded of that. I had a good session with my T today. He said I have to stop justifying myself in the r/s, and he's right. That miserable impossible person is gone. I'll focus my energy on my kids instead and move forward in my life. |