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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: coffee shop on January 30, 2014, 07:32:26 PM



Title: house sold, so much has happened
Post by: coffee shop on January 30, 2014, 07:32:26 PM
Hello everyone,

I haven't been on here for quite a while. Summary of why I was here. I was married to a NPD for 6 years, filed for a divorce (8/18/11)for many reasons, he had to move out and 30 days later forced himself into the house attacked me and told me he was going to kill me. He finally calmed down and left. I called 911, reported the whole evening's event and moved in with some friends that night. 9/28/12 I was granted a divorce, he was given possession of the property so he could refinance, because of continued problems I was granted another year of PFA. He was ordered to pay the mortgage and get refinanced by 12/31/12. He made 2 payments then since the property is in my name only, I started paying the mortgage again. We have been to court 4 times this year and the judge finally ordered him out of the house and said to get it listed for sale.

We listed the house in April 2013. Lots of ups and downs even at the closing but it sold in September. We finally made it to court for the last time right before Thanksgiving. The judge gave me my down payment and the payments I made since he defaulted in Dec. (all which was ordered in the divorce judgement) and he gave my ex all the profit over what we had agree to sell the house to him. That was $50,000 less what was owed me. The divorce agreement said we would divide what was left after I was paid back but the judge read the former judges ruling different. My attorney advised me not to take that judgement. I said I am done I will not fight this longer. The next day my attorney again gave me advise to appeal, I said no I am done. 2 weeks later he called my attorney said he was going garish my wages because we didn't figure things right and I still owed him $1,035. He demanded a personal check that day or he would take me to court. I got a MO 2 days later and took it to my attorney. I have nothing since. I still look over my shoulder but I am so relived that I still cry when I think about how I am finally finished. There is no better feeling. I couldn't even write this before now. I could not face looking at where I had been. Hang in there everyone.


Title: Re: house sold, so much has happened
Post by: seeking balance on January 30, 2014, 09:20:52 PM
. I still look over my shoulder but I am so relived that I still cry when I think about how I am finally finished. There is no better feeling. I couldn't even write this before now. I could not face looking at where I had been. Hang in there everyone.

Coffee Shop - thank you for the follow up... . I am so very happy you are finally finished... . your ordeal was textbook and you handled it with grace, compassion, logic and you deserve nothing but happiness from now on.

I know it wasn't what you hoped, but letting go and being done - my what a true relief.

Peace,

SB


Title: Re: house sold, so much has happened
Post by: whirlpoollife on January 31, 2014, 07:50:37 AM
I still look over my shoulder but I am so relived that I still cry when I think about how I am finally finished. There is no better feeling. I couldn't even write this before now. I could not face looking at where I had been. Hang in there everyone.

21 months since I filed and waiting for that day. Encouragement needed. thanks


Title: Re: house sold, so much has happened
Post by: livednlearned on January 31, 2014, 09:21:20 PM
What an ordeal. And same to what SB said -- you handled this with so much patience and class. I would've done the same thing as you, just opted to end it instead of stay engaged.

I hope everything is really done now, nothing resurfaces, and that he moves on and leaves you alone. You deserve some peace now, and a chance to be free and start fresh.



LnL