BPDFamily.com

For years, our granddaughter has suffered from extreme anxiety - was on medication until three months ago.  She was also very close to an aunt (more so than either her mother or father or grandparents).  Last month her aunt passed away rather unexpectedly.  We expected our granddaughter to be devastated; instead, she has grown up, appears to be very self-confident, and shows no sign of anxiety.  At first, I thought that perhaps our granddaughter was "growing up" as a tribute to her aunt.  However, (I believe her aunt was suffering from BPD - as is her mother), I am wondering if her aunt's death has released our granddaughter from unreasonable expectations and/or demands.  Or is it a combination of these two thoughts?  Or perhaps something else?  Or perhaps ... .    Whatever, it has been great news for us.  Any additional thoughts?

It's hard to say, jdtm, without asking your granddaughter directly. You may be right and that her aunt's passing might be a relief for your granddaughter, or it may be that she's grieving in a way that isn't obvious. It might be something else entirely. What does she say about her aunt? What else has changed in the last few months?