|
Title: This Helped Me Today Post by: NoCRV on January 31, 2014, 02:56:36 PM Hey Everyone,
I think I am slowly detaching. It's been almost three months since my break up with the uBPDex. I have not heard from her since she is with her recycled ex. At times I fear that I will hear from her again and at times I want to hear from her. Since I do not know the answer to that, I wrote of list of what I do know: I don't want to be with someone who wants to hurt me. I don't want to be with someone where my love triggers abandonment. I don't want to be a babysitter. I don't want to hurt like this again. If we were to recycle and break up, I would be in therapy. I cannot fix her. She has to do that on her own. I don't want a relationship where I constantly worry about infidelity while she is drunk. I don't want to be with someone who has drinking problem. I don't want to be someone who is needed, I want to be loved. She is low functioning and that will never change. She cannot love me if she doesn't love herself. I will not find happiness with her, only a struggle. I do not want to be in so much pain where I believe death would be easier. Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: CoasterRider on January 31, 2014, 03:29:40 PM good strategy, puts things into prospective to reality not memory lane which always see's things better than they were ... .
Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: NoCRV on January 31, 2014, 03:58:47 PM Thanks CoasterRider. Just a clarification, I didn't mean to come off as making therapy a bad thing. Someone told me the recycled ex has a lot of mental issues. I just didn't want her to do that to me.
Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: santa on January 31, 2014, 07:45:48 PM Knowing that it will be a constant struggle is a huge deterrent.
Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: NoCRV on January 31, 2014, 08:11:05 PM They all should be Santa. I should write more on my list. I find myself wanting to reach out to her. It's a strange addiction.
Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: Tausk on February 01, 2014, 12:09:04 AM I'll add one to the list:
I love her. However, the only thing I have left to give her is absolute boundaries of no contact. This is because any contact between us will only cause more damage. The disorder always wins. I may be able to survive the destruction, but it will simply cause a further downward spiral in her life. Therefore, my last and most loving gift to her is no contact... . forever. Sadness. Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: NoCRV on February 01, 2014, 12:43:04 AM Inspirational Tausk. Have you slipped on no contact? I went into directly in NC with her after the break up.
I did have a conversation with her sister but I feel like I need to get some stuff off my chest with her directly. Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: ogopogodude on February 01, 2014, 01:17:48 AM Excellent. I copied and pasted this blurb onto my desktop in order to refer to it on occasion.
Thanks. Title: Re: This Helped Me Today Post by: ogopogodude on February 01, 2014, 01:19:29 AM List:
I don't want to be with someone who wants to hurt me. I don't want to be with someone where my love triggers abandonment. I don't want to be a babysitter. I don't want to hurt like this again. If we were to recycle and break up, I would be in therapy. I cannot fix her. She has to do that on her own. I don't want a relationship where I constantly worry about infidelity while she is drunk. I don't want to be with someone who has drinking problem. I don't want to be someone who is needed, I want to be loved. She is low functioning and that will never change. She cannot love me if she doesn't love herself. I will not find happiness with her, only a struggle. I do not want to be in so much pain where I believe death would be easier. |