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I"m really looking to hear from people who are having success from therapy/meds and the BPD in their life.  Does it help over time?  I am in a relationship with a BPD.  She's in therapy and taking meds.  I can't say that I've seen improvement but I can't say that I can't either.  Some things are better, some the same, some worse.  Really would like to hear how it is going for others.

How long has she been on the "meds?"  And what meds are they.  Some meds take a while to work and she may need to go through several types to she which work best with her.

My wife has been in DBT since november... . I think!

In fact she's been so secretive about it that I don't know if she's really going. I'm getting rather suspsicious because she didn't like the therapist that she's assigned (that T was "tough" on her earlier).

I fear that she's turned the DBT program into sporadic "life coaching" sessions without direction or structure, just like she did with psychotherapy and CBT. She has that kind of influence. You can't steer her. She becomes the boss.

A few things has popped up that she's obviously been discussing in sessions, one being opening a savings account for a trip to new york (!).

She's on lithium and seroquel and I think it's had some effect. She does seem to be able to "let go" of things that she made a big fuzz about before, so life is a little bit easier. She doesn't go into the defensive rage-mode. Except for a couple weeks every months, related to her menstrual cycle. Then it's bascially as before (hell!).

On the downside she seems terribly bored and less interrested in meeting any of my needs than ever. She goes on forever about the things she wants us to do together, but when she's with me she can't seem to stand me. She seems to think she's entitled to certain things as part of a family life. I feel like I'm just driving her around all day as the sighs and talks about more things we should be doing. Wasn't DBT supposed to be about mindfullness?

Sorry, this was supposed to be succes stories, wasn't it?   

Not sure in my neck of the woods.  Las year she was on 14 different meds and dbt.  However, after what I considered the final conflict, where I set the limits and laid it down on the line, medicine #15 and psychiatrist #4 and therapist #5 seem to be making a difference.  Is it live or is it Memorex?  My glass has shattered and I am pretty sure it was Ella Fitzgerald's singing.  WE have had a few more arguments recently, and I understand I have to use some of the SET techniques written in the articles.  Part of me is so hurt and so angry I really don't care what I say to her... . However, I have small kids and for me it needs to be about them.

Double standards?  Do we the Non's have to work harder?  From what I read on these boards the answer is yes.  It's like trying to teach your cat to play fetch.

Hi 

I'm not sure if this helps, but my husband finished his second round of DBT (he had 2 cycles consqutively, I'm not sure if everyone does that) about 6 months ago. On the whole I think it really helped, although his behaviours never stopped they changed to something less severe (especially his SI) and he's more aware of himself and his behaviours and when they're happening.

I guess it's like us learning to understand and help all we can, they are too learning to understand and help themselves and hopefully we'll meet in the middle somewhere.

As for meds, they are increasing but seem to help him where they can.

Good luck, we're all here for you

he has been in therapy since he was in his early 20's and he is now 33. Has been to many diferent therapists and with the new one has been for about 9 months (we had to find a free one and there isnt many here... . ) so altough she is a nice person she is not ready to threat someone like him... .

But to answer your question, the meds and therapist help with somethings but others... . like self esteem are deeply damaged.

I just wish I had the money to get him a 5* therapist but I don't... . So. I keep hoping he finds the strength to get better with what we have.

I've also had a little more thought on this and I think also the successfulness of therapy/meds is about finding the rightr combination. But also the right therapist/counsellor/CPN/Psychologist. This makes so much difference. My husband had a CPN who was awful and it was like a weak link in an important chain. He complained and was appointed a new one (their negligence resulted in him using harmful behaviours)