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Title: Simple Questions Post by: arn131arn on February 01, 2014, 06:30:59 PM Why all the drama? Why all the chaos?
Why do the BPD men/women thrive on this? What is it about conflict that makes them want to wallow in it? I read this on this site when I first came to it. "You can wrestle in the mud with a pig, until you realize the pig actually likes it." Title: Re: Simple Questions Post by: fromheeltoheal on February 01, 2014, 06:40:10 PM With an unstable sense of self, as in who a sufferer is to themselves is constantly changing, they don't have a choice, it's not a want thing, it just is. Plus, if that's all you know, contentment and mellowness are uncomfortable; it's the chaos that is comfortable. They've been doing it their whole lives, but it's new for us.
Title: Re: Simple Questions Post by: myself on February 01, 2014, 07:03:01 PM Wired for no accountability. They're hurting so everyone else must hurt. No one has been able to stop them yet and that's a lot of momentum. They don't care about anyone but themselves, and spend all their time proving they don't even care about themselves. They could change but decide not to. A game of avoidance.
Title: Re: Simple Questions Post by: arn131arn on February 01, 2014, 07:12:57 PM I cannot even fathom that!
I used to think that I was the one with BPD; but I know deep in my heart I am a very dependent person. That's what I need to change about myself. After 14 years of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse, 5 phone calls to the police, 3 charges, 1 dropped, 2 convictions, constant push/pull, silence. Oh, how I hated the silence. But I always felt for her. Always wanted to know what was wrong, what the problem was, how I could help... . silence. I know this makes me extremely co-dependent. But I also know that I am compasssionate, empathetic, emotionally "there"... . That's how I know I'm not BPD... . and I hate chaos/drama. Title: Re: Simple Questions Post by: Surnia on February 02, 2014, 03:26:06 AM Great insight, arn!
Perhaps this book could be something for you: Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist - Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., (https://bpdfamily.com/book-reviews/stop-caretaking-borderline-or-narcissist) How are your T sessions going? Title: Re: Simple Questions Post by: casper324 on February 02, 2014, 08:59:15 AM I honestly believe my stbex needed drama as foreplay. Sex seemed to be preceded by a rant or rage usually how horrible his sex life was and how horrible I was in bed, then he would expect me to be intimate with him.
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