BPDFamily.com

Anyone just want "normal"?  Or wonder what "normal" is?

If they won't respond to your text and you don't know when they will be home, should you wait up for them?

No. :) go to bed and get on with your business. When and if you decide their actions regarding anything are a deal breaker, make a boundry that leaves you feeling better and enforce it.

Thank you elemental. I got a response an 1hr ago of soon... . not home yet, so went to bed... .

I'm "done", but yeah today another day... .     Just wanting normal?

How long were you with this person before you lived together ?

TBH even when you are in a 'normal" RS you will find something that makes it feel not normal. PD's are present in many RS's which you would think were normal, they are just hidden.

Plus RS's have other issues that are not PD related.

So don't get too stuck on the grass being greener etc

Don't worry too much about it. My uBPDw has stormed out on a few occasions lately, and she of course didn't say where she was going. She usually either ends up at a friend or family members house complaining and trying to get them on her side, or goes to the bar and has a couple. Though she usually goes for the former if someone is available. I just watch something on TV or do something I enjoy, and sometimes I talk to a friend about it. Then if it gets late enough, I just go to bed.

Normal is a strange word to me now . Just think of it as trying to make the most of a bad situation.

I know exactly what you mean by wanting "Normal"

I'm sat in my office, looking at my colleagues right now thinking "you all have normal/average lives" No worries about I haven't heard from them, how are they today. No constanting trying to be upbeat and "on" all the time.

The only comfort I find is there is no such thing as "normal" only "statistically average" and that I'm not alone as I ahve thank god found this forum.

I don't need normal all the time, just once in a while. I have had a hitty week so far. Twice I have cut my two fingers pretty deep, twice I have slipped and fallen, plus had a migraine & to add had female cramps. But my uBPDbf came home complaining of his job and his mother fell... . so I don't dare say anything about my small accidents or I would be seen as selfish, not caring etc.  but sometimes I just want the hug and oh I'm sorry you've dealt with that.

I'll survive, and fingers will heal etc.

No truer words written.

I second that

My partner is in ER at the moment, last night we had 4 cops and 2 paramedics in the house at midnight, she was demanding more xanax pills (she had taken all her days allowance) because I wouldn't hand out more she took a filleting knife to her wrist (mainly superficial cuts). So off she went in an ambulance for maybe thirtieth time in 18 months.

This was a rinse repeat of two nights before.

I went to bed turned my phone off and had a good nights sleep, she will have to find her own way home.

I dont participate in self harm or addiction dramas.

We don't have screaming conflicts anymore so things are good in comparison to the past. The drama is not projected and I have the freedom to do my own stuff when I want

This is my normal

I am lucky in that my bf doesn't threaten and/or attempt suicide.  But I am afraid that his excessive drinking may cause his death one day. I try not to worry when he is out, but when I go then I am always the dd.